If Only Life Were Like Fairy Tales
by SisiDraig
Summary: SEQUEL to 'Who Said It Would Last Forever' - It's parent's evening, after finding our a certain Mr Noir will be there Howard decides to tag along. What will happen when they meet? Will Howard have to choose between his family and the man he once loved?
1. Chapter 1

_**Sequel to 'Who said it would Last Forever?' It wont make sense if you haven't read that (so there's the warning). **_

_**D/C: No, it's still not mine!!**_

_**Dedicated to my buddy Left T, for pretty much forcing me to write this (only joking), but she has been checking up on me, which is the only reason it was written so fast and also for checking a few bits I wasn't sure about. THANK YOU!!**_

* * *

"What d'you mean you want to come with me?"

"I just think it would be good if we both went."

"An hour ago you were coming up with every reason under the sun as to why you couldn't go. What's changed?"

_I didn't realise Vince would be there an hour ago._ Howard thought. It was true, he'd just assumed that the once-a-week art teacher wouldn't bother turning up to something as dull as parent's evening but when his son, Vince, had come home from school that day shouting happily about how his mum would love Mr Noir. Howard had had a sudden and seemingly unexpected change of heart.

"Nothing's changed." he lied, "I just think it's important for Vince to realise that _both_ his parents support him."

"hmmm." Maria frowned, clearly still a little suspicious. "Well, obviously I'd prefer it if you were there." she said eventually. "And I don't want that cow Cheryl going around telling everyone I'm a single mother again."

"Right." nodded Howard awkwardly. Even after five years of living with and loving Maria, he still wasn't entirely sure how to act around her sometimes. He wasn't completely at ease with her and, now and again, he still pined for a certain someone else. Some nights when he was alone, when Maria was at some jazz club with her band 'Mean it' and little Vince was tucked up in bed, he'd rummage deep in his private draw and pull out the photo album of him and Vince at the zoo. Sometimes when he did this he'd feel angry, sometimes he'd laugh but usually he cried. He'd never cried over Maria. He loved her, of course he did, but she wasn't right. She wasn't quite perfect. She wasn't… Vince.

"You going to go and get ready then, or not?" snapped Maria.

"W-what? Oh right. Yeah course." Howard rushed to his room to the sound of Maria muttering and "I don't know _who_ I'm going to get to look after Vince at such short notice."

--

The traffic on the way to the school had been horrendous, they were definitely going to be late and there was so much tension in the car it was almost visible . Maria was already annoyed because her mother had been out, so she had had to ask the neighbour's daughter to baby-sit, who, on seeing how desperate they were, had decided to charge them double the usual rate. Howard thought Maria was going to kill him when all he'd had to say on the matter was "Smart kid."

"Right," said Maria, as they got close to the school "You park the car and I'll go and find out what the plans are."

"Aren't we just walking in sitting down, being talked at and then leaving? Surely that doesn't take much planning, Vince could do it."

"Shut up Howard. If you're going to be this annoying you can go home."

Howard was about to take Maria up on her offer when the thought of seeing Vince Noir again became too much.

"I'm fine." he sulked and drove off in search of a parking space.

--

It took him ages to find the right class room. It wasn't an overly big primary school, maybe 15 classes at the most, but there were parents and teachers milling around everywhere and Howard was totally lost. Eventually a kind teacher took pity on him and pointed him in the right direction, though when Howard walked through the door and was met with a furious Maria he began to wonder why he'd tried so hard to find her.

"We don't both get to see all the teachers." she spat, in a hushed tone. "Apparently, there're too many parents and not enough time, so we have to 'split up'."

"Well, how many teachers does he have? He's in primary school."

"Exactly! He's got two teachers. Mr Noir, who teaches art and Mrs Long, who teaches everything else. And yet one of us only gets to see a stupid, know-nothing art teacher."

"I'm sure he's very talented." Howard retorted, a bit too quickly."Hmm. Look, Howard. I know you wanted to come and see the teacher too but would you mind going to see the art teacher. I really want to talk to Mrs Long about Vince's spellings and I'm couldn't care less about whether he's going to be an artist or not…"

"I've seen him draw the stick man in Hang man. He's no artist." laughed Howard. He was managing to keep very calm considering that inside he was leaping around like an enthusiastic child on Christmas morning. "And I don't mind seeing Mr… what was it?"

"Noir."

"Noir. I don't mind seeing Mr Noir, if you want to see Vince's proper teacher."

"Oh Howard, you're wonderful." she said, leaning up and kissing him lightly before walking briskly to join the queue for Mrs Long. He felt a wave of guilty wash over him, but it was soon pushed down by a much stronger bout of nerves as he walked considerably less briskly to the other queue. Mr Noir's queue. A much, much shorter queue.

In fact there was only one other man waiting outside Mr Noir's door and he wearing a face, which wouldn't have been out of place for a man on death row.

"You wanna go in front?" he asked. "I'm tryin' to avoid goin' in. I 'ate these teacher types. They make me feel so bloody small."

"I… well, I mean… I don't mind." Howard didn't want to seem too eager, in case anyone became suspicious but inside he was screaming 'yes let me in, I have to see him. I have to!'

"Ahhh, you go 'en. Take your time too mate. In fact if you can manage to stay in there the entire allotted hour, that'd be perfect."

Howard's initial reaction was 'he's setting me up'. After all, he was saying exactly what Howard wanted to hear. It couldn't have gone more perfectly if he'd scripted it himself. So, before he had time to talk himself out of his gift or back out with nerves, he took a deep breath, knocked on the door and went in.

There he was. Sat behind a desk, scribbling something on a piece of paper. He looked older, more sensible and, much to Howard's shock, he was wearing a suit. He had shorter hair as well (not short, but definitely shorter and less wild) and Howard wondered that had he just seen this new Vince walking down the street whether he'd have recognised at all.

"Take a seat." Vince said, without looking up. "I'll be with you now. Let me just finish this paperwork."

Anyone who didn't know Vince would probably believe this, but Howard could tell he wasn't doing paperwork at all. The furrowed brow and the tongue sticking out the at corner of his mouth (which was just one of Vince's gorgeous little habits Howard missed) were a tell tale sign that he was doodling.

Howard suddenly had a very strong urge just to grab his old friend and never let go but he managed to quash it and contented himself with sitting in the chair opposite the teacher.

"Sorry about that." Vince said, putting his doodle in a draw. "So, hel-" he looked up. Silence.

Vince went white, his blue eyes grew wider (if that were at all possible) and his mouth dropped open.

"Howard?" he whispered.

"Hi." Howard replied, in the same hushed tone.

"What are you…? How did you…? I mean, I didn't know you had a kid in this school."

"Yeah. My son. He's five."

"Oh right, yeah."

Silence.

Howard twiddled his thumbs and Vince twirled his now mousy coloured hair around his finger.

"So…" Vince said eventually. "your kid, is he artistic?"

"No." smiled Howard, "He follows his dad for that I'm afraid."

"Right, w-which is your boy?"

"The one who's surname is Moon." Howard said, not wanting to admit he'd named his son after the man sat in front of him.

"I don't know their surnames." Vince smiled, "I got no reason to know them and I don't like learning stuff when there's no need. What's his name?"

"Umm." Howard blushed.

"Come on Howard, unless yours is the boy called Susan, his name can't be that embarrassing."

"Vince." he mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"Vince"

"Speak up."

"Vince!" he almost yelled.

Silence again. Vince raised his eyebrows bemusedly but he just smiled and said. "Nice name."

"Maria chose it." Howard lied quickly.

"Right." Pause. "Uh, how is she?"

"Fine, yeah."

"Didn't say anything about my… er, announcement at your wedding then?"

Howard shook his head, eyes still fixed on his knees."I'm really sorry about that Howard. I shouldn't have said it. I was just… upset, you know." He laughed bitterly. "I'd loved you for so long, I just… I guess I never thought that I'd finally work up the courage to tell you on your wedding day. Then seeing you with her looking so happy… I mean, it was the final straw. I just… I…"

"So, how long have you been in Leeds?" Howard said quickly, desperately trying to change the subject. He couldn't dwell on what might have been anymore, he'd done enough of that over time. Vince looked a surprised and more than a little hurt at being cut off mid-apology but Howard pressed on. "I came to see you, Bollo and Naboo last year but the Nabootique had gone."

"Oh, yeah. They've gone to America. Naboo's got his own show like a cross between Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer. The yanks love him and Bollo's starring in the remake of King Kong Vs Godzilla. He's Godzilla."

"Right, and what are you doing with yourself?"

"Ahh, bits and pieces. Just keeping alive. I'm running four jobs at the moment." he smiled and Howard suddenly noticed Vince looked a little rough. He had black rings beneath his eyes, a thin layer of stubble on his chin and his eyes; they weren't quite as blue as they used to be.

"Where are you living?"

"Everywhere, kip on my friend Lilly's floor mainly. Sometime's a motel or something if she's 'entertaining', if you get what I mean."

"So you haven't got a home?"

"Not exactly." Vince said, looking incredibly uncomfortable at being interrogated. After all, who wants to meet up with someone they used to love only to find that they're married, in a good job, earning lots of money judging my his appearance and you haven't even got a stable home at night. Suddenly, Vince beamed at the other man and said "Shouldn't we be discussing little Vince now?"

"Yeah course. So… how's he doing?"

"He's good actually. Not overly artistic but he's quite creative and enthusiastic. He's told me he wants to be a famous musician like Jagger and he appreciates the beauty of electro music. We're doing an art project at the moment, where we listen to Gary Numan and just throw colours around to see what Numan make's us draw. He told me it's better than what his parent's listen too." Vince laughed suddenly. "You're kids cooler than you are. That must be terrible for you."

Howard smiled despite himself, though he'd only been half listening. He still had a question he needed to ask.

"I still don't understand _why_ you've moved to Leeds."

"This is _parent__'__s_ evening Howard. I'm supposed to be talking to you as a _parent_."

"Well I want to talk as a _friend_." Howard said, imitating Vince's irritating emphasises.

"We haven't been friends for over five years, Howard. So please, don't make me answer all these questions."

"Just answer one question then."

"Okay, if you answer one for me."

Howard nodded his agreement and then said "Why did you come to Leeds?"

"I came up here with my boyfriend about three years ago." Howard felt anger and jealousy building up, though he knew he had no right. "But we broke up over a year ago and I just didn't want to go back to London. Now your question; did you know I was going to be here today?"

Howard thought about lying, but he decided not to, after all, Vince had answered his question with unrelenting honestly so he just nodded silently.

"Right."

"Actually, that's the only reason I came. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing fine."

"I know you better than that Vince."

"Howard, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it. I still care you know."

"You gave up the obligation to care about me years ago. Please stop, I'm doing fine."

"Come and live with us." Howard said suddenly, surprised by his own impulsiveness.

"What?!" Vince said, looking at Howard as though he was crazy and perhaps he was.

"I don't like the thought of you slumming it on people's floors."

"That's the stupidest idea you've ever come up with, do you know that?"

"Why is it? I've got a spare room."

"Please Howard." Vince looked a little tearful now. "Stop. I don't want your generosity."

"Well, you could pay rent if you wanted though I wouldn't ask for it. Would that be less generous?"

"Stop." Vince was almost begging. "Thank you Howard, but no."

"Take some money then." Howard said. He was determined to do something.

"No."

"Why not?"

Vince was silent for a moment and then said, "If I took your money, would you tell Maria." Howard blushed furiously and Vince said, "Thought not, I'd hate to be your dirty little secret."

"We wouldn't be having an affair."

"Wouldn't we?" Vince asked suddenly. "Can you guarantee me this wouldn't lead there eventually? Because I can't promise that I wouldn't try. I still think about you all the time Howard and I can tell from your eyes that you still think about me."

"H-how? W-what?" Howard stuttered uselessly.

"There's only one place this generosity would lead and I've been there once, and I'm not ready to going there again."

"I think you've got this all wrong. I was just offering you some help. I didn't expect sex in return. You're not a prostitute." Then a thought hit him. "You're not, are you?"

"No. Give me some credit. I ain't stooped that low, yet."

"Right. So, that's a 'no' to the money then."

Vince nodded.

"I still want to see you sometimes though." frowned Howard. "I mean, now that we've found each other… it just seems stupid to pretend I never knew you. Maria's hosting a dinner party next week. Why don't you come?"

"What if your friend's recognise me?"

"They wont. They haven't seen you for years and anyway, you look totally different. What's going on with that anyway?"

"Oh yeah." he smiled. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't want everyone looking at me anymore."

"What?" Howard jaw dropped open.

"Well, I only want people to look at me when it's going to fill them with jealousy… not pity."

"Wait, Vince Noir's lost his confidence? I never thought I'd see the day, sir."

"Yeah, well, I got pushed into the shadows, didn't I?"

"By who?"

"What does it matter? Unless you're going to go all 'No one puts Baby in a corner' on their arse, you don't need to know."

"Who's hurt you Vince?"

"What, apart from you?" the younger man asked bitterly. Howard fell quiet and Vince felt immediately sorry.

"I probably deserved that." Howard whispered.

"mmm."

"So, you going to come to the party?"

Vince shrugged infuriatingly. Howard wanted to slap the younger man for being so blasé about this entire situation. Inside, Howard was all over the place. One minute he was furious, the next he was upset, then lustful, then concerned, happy, sad, and now angry again. He reached for a piece of paper and a pen and scribble out the address on it, handing it to Vince.

"Look, come if you can make it. Okay?"

"Okay." Vince said, taking the paper. Howard turned to leave and as he reached the door Vince called, "Tell Vince, he's really cool and that he's doing really well! After all, that's all we've been discussing when Maria asks, isn't it?"

Howard gritted his teeth but decided not to rise to the provocation and instead left calmly.

"You okay?" Maria asked, when he finally found her in the crowd of parents.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, pulling her in for a long and unexpected kiss.

"Howard." she giggled, "People are looking."

"I don't care. You look absolutely beautiful by the way. I don't think I've told you today."

"Oh, Howard." she smiled. "What's brought all this on?"

"I just remembered how much I loved you."

Maria smiled even wider and said "I love you too honey. How did it go with Mr Noir?"

"Yeah, fine. Vince isn't going to be an artist but apart from that… he's really enthusiastic and apparently he loves electro."

"Not electro."

"Yeah, Gary Numan is his favourite."

"Like your idiot friend who tried to ruin our wedding."

"Mmm… about him."

Maria frowned questioningly.

"He rang me the other day."

"Really? Why?"

"He said he was in the area or something. Anyway, I've invited him to your dinner party."

"You what!?" Maria practically yelled. "Why would you do that? He'll ruin it. He ruined out stag and hen do, he ruined our wedding and he'll ruin this."

"Alright, shhhhhh" Howard said, painfully aware of the attention his wife was drawing. "Look, he probably wont be able to make it but I had to ask him, didn't I? I was just being polite."

"Well, next time, don't be."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Well, we better get home. This baby sitter is costing enough as it is."


	2. Chapter 2

"Go to the party."

"Huh?" Vince said, looking up from his copy of cheekbone.

"Go to the party." repeated Lilly.

"Are you mad?"

"Are you?"

"No. And I've told you, I'm not going. He's married. I just have to forget about him, it's fine."

"I can tell it's clearly not fine, I think you should go and show him what he's missing."

"That's ridiculous. Anyway, I can't go, I'm busy."

"Rubbish! You're pretending to read cheekbone."

"I'm not, I'm reading it."

"Vince, it's upside down." The man looked at his magazine, sighed and turned it up the right way. "_Now_ I'm reading it."

"You're an idiot." frowned Lilly "Anyway, you can't sleep on my floor tonight."

"Why not?"

"I've got a guest."

"Oh not Gary!" Vince screwed up his face.

"Yes, Gary! What's wrong with Gary?"

"Umm, where do I start? Bad hair, bad breath, bad fashion sense. Boring personality. Honestly, he nearly sent me to sleep going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…"

"Alright I get the picture."

"… about fishing. Seriously, I know more than I could ever wish to know about fishing."

"Yeah, well you're not going to be here so it's fine."

"Where am I supposed to go then?"

"Howard's house?" suggested Lilly, smiling slyly causing Vince to shoot her a look of complete disapproval. "Look," she sighed, "I don't really care where you go but I'm not having your fish pun's all evening again."

"But they were funny."

"No, they were far from funny." scowled Lilly. Just then the doorbell of the small flat rang.

"Oh My _Cod_. He's here!" exclaimed Vince.

"Go and get your shoes on. I want you out in five minutes." said Lilly. Then, catching site of herself in the mirror, she screeched "Ahhh, I'm not ready yet. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You should have asked. Or would that have been _fishing_ for compliments?"

"Shut up! And let him in. Tell him I'll be two minutes."

"I dunno, this all seems a bit _fishy_." laughed Vince.

"You're not funny."

"What if he's got the wrong _plaice_? Haha."

"Vince!"

"Sorry, sorry." he laughed opening the door. On seeing the man, he smiled wickedly, put on his most camp voice and said "_Ooo_, _hello sailor_." Gary's face visibly dropped. "Ahh, cheer up I'm leaving now. I ain't _shellfish._ I'm gonna let you have your lovely romantic evening. Come on in. Lilly will be a couple of minutes."

"Thanks." Gary said, stepping through the door uneasily.

"Sit down." smiled Vince, "Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?"

"Beer, thanks."

"Not rum?"

"No, why would I want rum?"

"Pirate's drink." shrugged Vince, handing over the bottle and sitting on a small stool. "So, tell me that about that whale again. Seriously, I was _hooked_ last time."

"Really? You looked bored stiff."

"Yeah, that's my interested face."

"You yawned."

"I was tired."

"You…"

"Just tell me the story."

"You hate fishing."

"No, I'm a born fisher. Vince is Icelandic for hook you know."

"No it's not; krókur is."

"Oh my _cod_ you actually know."

"Hmmm."

"Come on, I'm _anchored _to my seat. Tell me about it!"

"No. How long will Lilly be?"

"Only a few minutes."

"Right." Gary began to tap his glass nervously with his dirt encrusted finger nails.

"Hey," asked Vince, after a minute or so of tiny tap-tapping. "Are you sending me messages via Morse code?" Gary shot him a look of pure confusion and Vince fell about laughing.

At that moment, Lilly emerged from her bedroom and in the thunderous look on her face, Vince saw his cue to leave.

"Right. I'm gonna go." he smiled. "I'm sure you'll _sail_ through this date. Lilly, seen my _boater_ hat? I wanna wear it."

"No." she scowled.

"Shame, they're well fashionable at the moment."

"Liar." she spat, which made Vince explode with the laughter that he'd been trying so hard to suppress.

"Right, well _sea _you both!" he grinned. He shut the front door behind him and broke down, laughing hysterically until a woman who lived down the corridor walked past giving his a very dirty look. He sobered up quickly and, in the silence of the corridor, he suddenly felt very much alone.

"So Vince" he said to himself as he buried his hands deep in his pockets, walking towards the stairs. "What now? Sleazy bar? Local pub? Try and get lucky in the clubs? Or…" Well, there _was_ Howard's party. But he couldn't go there. He just couldn't.

--

Howard poured another round of drinks with a distinctly forced smile on his face. Vince hadn't turned up. He wasn't surprised but it still hurt and if that pain wasn't enough, he was sure he was going to tinnitus if Joe Carpaninni's irritating wife of two years spoke any louder or squeakier.

"Howaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!" she slurred at a pitch only dog's could register.

"Yes?" Howard said, his forced smile getting even wider.

"Could I possibly have some red wine darling?"

"Of course. I'll be right back." he said, going to find the bottle in the kitchen. Maria was there, dishing out some kind of stew onto some plates.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine." Howard lied.

"Good. I think this is a rather successful evening so far, don't you?"

"It's brilliant." Howard smiled, wrapping his arms around his wife's middle and pressing a kiss onto the back of her neck. "You plan fantastic dinner parties."

"We haven't started the main course yet." Maria smiled. "Don't get too excited."

Just at that moment, Joe's wife shouted; "Wouldn't this be fantastic if we made it a key party?"

Howard's eyes opened to almost normal human size and Maria whispered "Go and put a stop to that, please."

He nodded, picked up the wine and walked back to the dining room explaining thoroughly why a key party would _not_ be a good idea.

Just then, the door bell rang.

"Howard, could you get that?" asked Maria, setting down some plates on the large table.

"Sure." he said. He walked to the front door excitedly. He'd come. Vince had actually come. He opened the door.

"Oh."

"Is that all the 'hello' I get?"

"Sorry Mrs Bower. How can I help you?"

"Avon." said the elderly neighbour importantly. "Your wife's ordered some new eyeliner."

"Right. Could I pop round and pay you tomorrow? We've got guests over."

Mrs Bower considered this for a moment and then said "No."

_Stupid cow_ he thought

"No problem" he said that forced smile making another appearance. He was beginning to think his smile deserved an Oscar for it's performance this evening. "Bear with me a moment." He went upstairs to rummage through his money draw before coming down with the fiver she needed."Oh. I haven't got any change." said the old woman. "I'll have to bring it to you tomorrow. Is that okay?"

Howard thought about saying 'no' just to make a point, but it really wasn't worth it. So, once again, he smiled through gritted teeth and said "That's fine."

"Night Howard."

"Night Mrs Bower." He was pushing the door shut when he heard a familiar cockney voice shouting.

"Howard. Hey Howard, wait!" The door flew open, and there was Vince, virtually running up the path. "Hey." he beamed as he got closer. "You alright? You look furious."

"I'm fine." Howard smiled genuinely, for the first time that evening. "Come on in. I'm glad you could make it."

"Mmm, I'm starving. What've we got?"

"To be honest with you, I don't know but don't tell Maria that. I think it's some kind of stew."

"I'll eat anything, me." Vince grinned, handing over his plain black coat. It was strange seeing Vince with no over the top coats, attention-stealing t-shirts or fertility killing trousers. "What?" asked Vince, after Howard had been frowning at him for a few moments.

"Nothing." the older man said, shaking his head quickly and pointing Vince in the direction of the dining room.

Howard wasn't sure what happened exactly, but when he introduced Vince to the busy room, what had been a very pleasant atmosphere became suddenly charged with an energy that Howard couldn't quite fathom. All his guests seemed a little put out by the presence of this unknown guest but Joe, in particular, looked more than a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable and had suddenly become fascinated with his knees.

"VINCE!" Mrs Carpaninni exclaimed too loudly, "How are you darling?"

"Fine thanks." Vince mumbled. He was looking directly at his feet and after a moment he added, "And you?"

"I'm brilliant! And just a teenie-weenie bit tipsy. Why don't you sit down by me?"

"There's no seat there."

"You'll have to sit between me and Joe." explained Howard. "How d'you know Joe's wife?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." was the whispered reply. Howard was curious but the matter was forgotten as Maria appeared through the door with the final two plates of the indistinguishable stew.

"Bon Appetite everyo-. Who's this?"

"Love, you remember Vince." said Howard.

"Hi." Vince waved self-consciously from his seat.

"Umm, hello… You look very… erm, different."

"Yeah."

"Ummm, oh this is embarrassing. I haven't got any more Cocido."

Vince's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Stew." she explained.

"Oh." Vince said. "Well, don't worry. I'm not that hungry. I'll make do with a bread roll."

"You sure?" Howard asked, "You said you were hungry earlier. You can have mine."

"Howard." Maria cried, "Don't you want it? What's wrong with my cooking?"

"Nothing, it looks delicious love. But he's our guest and I did tell you he might be coming."

"And I made enough but he turned up late, didn't he? I just put the extra on everyone else's plates."

"Look, don't argue about it." Vince said quickly. "I'm fine with the bread. Honestly."

"No, no." sighed Maria, "I haven't got much in the kitchen but I can rustle you up a sandwich or something. You okay with ham?"

"Mmm, please."

"Any crisps?"

"Prawn Cocktail. I like the packet," he explained "it's pink. Pink crisp packets are well in at the moment."

There was a very awkward silence and Vince dipped his head trying desperately to hide his face behind his hair. From the way everyone was looking at him, Vince may as well have just announced he had the plague. "Right," Howard said cheerily trying to save what was left of the situation, "ummm, let's dig in. It looks amazing, doesn't it everyone?"

--

All things considered, the meal went fairly smoothly, if you ignored Mrs Carpaninni's insistent suggestion of a key party and Vince's ravenous eating style and random involuntary jumping.

"What are you doing?" Howard asked, when Vince jumped so high he almost landed on his lap.

"Sorry." the younger man had muttered. "I'm… cold." he'd finished limply.

"Right."

* * *

**Sorry for the weird ending of the chapter. It's just this chapter seemed to be going on forever so I had to put a break in it somewhere. Also, I'm a bit worried my mum's going to confiscate my laptop, so if there're no updates (or reviews) for a while that's the reason. I'll try my best to update, obviously, but I can't make any promises. =[**

**Sisi...xx**


	3. Chapter 3

After the meal, it had been suggested they play trivial pursuit.

"There're too many of to play individually." Joe said, unfolding the board, "We'll have to play in teams."

"Men vs. Woman?" Howard suggested.

"Yeah. I think that's as fair as it could be, seeing as we have an odd number." Maria said, unintentionally making Vince feel even more out of place man and uncomfortable. This was all far too grown up for him and if Joe touched him one more time, he was pretty sure he'd scream. He'd thought about leaving hundreds of times already tonight. It would be easy enough, no one wanted him there. He could just make an excuse and disappear into the night. The clubs would still be open. He could go and try his luck there. Then, just as the urge to leave became too strong, Howard would smile warmly at him and all thoughts of leaving would disappear in a puff of smoke.

--

"Read the question again." barked the moodiest of men.

"What did 100,000 self-conscious American women buy 200,000 of in 1980?" repeated his wife. "Any ideas?"

Vince was fiddling with a fraying string from his t-shirt, he was hardly listening. So far he hadn't known the answer to a single question and he was sick of feeling so thick.

"Umm, earrings." was the answer that was eventually given.

"Wrong, breast implants."

Vince looked up at that and Howard smiled at the look of total confusion on his old friend's face. "Wanna read the question Vince?"

"Howard," laughed Maria, "I know he's got the same name as our five year old but you don't have to treat them the same." Vince smiled politely and everyone else laughed except Howard, who could feel his friend's pain and was beginning to get angry at his wife for being so thoughtless.

"Here." he said passing the younger man the card.

"Okay, what colour, green?"

"Yeah."

"Right, do porcupines masturbate?" Everyone looked at him like he'd gone wrong in the head. "That's what it says" he insisted, passing the card to the nearest person, who happened to be Joe.

"He's right. It's a 50/50 guess girls." the short, fat man confirmed, putting his chubby arm around Vince's shoulders.

"I'm thirsty." mumbled Vince, suddenly jumping at the touch.

"I'll get it," said Howard, "what do you want?"

"I'm fine." Vince said getting up and walking towards the kitchen.

"I better go and check he knows where everything is." said Joe.

"I'll go." Howard offered.

"Howard, you sit down." ordered Maria, suddenly "You've run round after that maturely-stunted idiot all evening. Let Joe go."

Howard looked at Joe and shrugged. The shorter man gave a weird, grin in response and followed Vince.

The women considered their 50/50 guess for a while before incorrectly guessing 'no'. One of the men rolled the dice and the question was read out.

"Who was the official hair consultant to the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics?"

"They had one?" exclaimed the same men. "That's a ridiculous question. Who the hell would know that?"

"Actually." frowned Howard, "That's exactly the kind of thing Vince would know. Where is he? Him and Joe have been gone ages."

"Dunno." moaned Mrs Carpaninni. "Where's my Joey? I miss him." Howard shot her a disgusted look and announced he was going to see if either of the other men knew the answer.

When he entered the kitchen he was greeted by something that first confused him, then made his blood boil. Vince was backed right into the corner, Joe was leering over him.

"Come on." he was whispering, "We'll just pop upstairs. No one will even notice."

"No, your married."

"Never stopped you before."

"I didn't know before."

"You say you only came up to Leeds to be with me Vincey, but even when you decided it was over, you stayed. Why would you do that if you weren't waiting for this to happen again?"

"I have friends here and jobs and there's not much in London for me anymore. Get off me Joe. I don't want this. I've never wanted this."

"This better not be about bloody Howard again. I let that go the first time. I promised not to tell him but…"

"It's not." Vince cried. He looked like he was about to burst into tears and Howard could tell he was broken.

"Uh-hem." the moustached man cleared his throat and watched Joe spring away from Vince like a cat that had been squirted with water. "Is everything okay here?"

"It's fine, isn't it Vince?"The youngest man nodded dumbly unable to make eye contact with him. Howard frowned, making a mental note to ask him about this later but for now he'd act like he'd seen nothing.

"We're stuck on a question in the living room. I was wondering if either or you knew the answer."

"Shoot." said Joe.

"Umm, it was something like 'who was the hair consultant for the 1984 Olympics?"

"Well why would anyone know that?" scorned the half Italian.

"Vince?"

"Vidal Sassoon. He did this genius sorta layered bob affect on Mary Lou Retton, it's the best I've ever seen. The man was an inspiration. I mean, he didn't do anything as good as mine but…"

"Vidal Sassoon?" Howard repeated.

"Yeah." Vince beamed, then catching Joe's eye, he said quietly, "I need the toilet, is it upstairs?"

"Yeah, on the left." smiled Howard. As Vince walked past Joe he was sure he heard the younger man hiss "That was _not_ an invitation."

"Well, did they know?" asked the other man, when Howard and returned.

"Yeah. Vidal Sassoon."

"How the hell would you know…Don't give them it." frowned Maria. "I bet they googled it."

"We didn't." promised Joe. "Vince knew it."

"No. He hasn't known anything." said Maria suspiciously.

"Yeah, but you haven't asked a question about hair." Howard smiled. "Did we get a cheese for that too? Brilliant. Right, we'll have another question then."

--

After a few more round's Howard became increasingly aware that Vince still hadn't returned from the 'toilet'. According to Maria the game was getting 'tense' as both teams were hunting the brown cheese for the win, but to Howard it was getting boring and he was becoming more and worried about what had happened to Vince. No one else seemed bothered or had indeed noticed the Vince shaped hole that had emerged but to Howard it was gaping.

"I'll be right back." he said suddenly, getting up and leaving before anyone could protest.

He went upstairs and found Vince huddled in the corner of his bedroom. He looked like he'd been crying but now he was had his eyes tightly shut. Exhausted and upset.

"Vince." Howard called, shaking him gently. "Vince. Come on little man." The old nickname slipped out as naturally as breathing, and Howard noticed the small smile that played on Vince's lips. "Come on," laughed Howard "I know you're awake."

"Mmm," murmured Vince.

"Come on Vince. Why are you hiding away up here?"

"I don't wanna see… It doesn't matter."

"No, it does. Is this about Joe?"

Vince panicked. "Nothing happened!"

"Okay, so what was that about in the kitchen?"

"Ummm… money."

"Don't lie to me, I know you better than that."

"No you don't!" Vince almost snapped. "You don't know me at all. Not anymore."

"Vince, tell me about Joe." Howard order. He said it so authoritatively that Vince just crumbled and started to tell the whole sordid story.

"Naboo and Bollo had just left and Leroy was going on tour with the Black Tubes - unbelievable his legs are only one size smaller than mine but _he_ was perfect. Suddenly, I wasn't cool anymore. He was. I didn't have a job, I didn't have any friends. You were getting on with your life… And then Joe rang me and asked me to meet up with him. It was the best offer I had so we went out a couple of times. I didn't really love him but he was alright. Then, after almost two years of slowly forcing myself to become fond of the fat bastard, I find out he's been married for half of it. I left him straight away but he can't let it go. He kept grabbing my leg and stuff when we were eating."

"That's why you kept jumping throughout the meal."

Vince nodded "I thought he loved me though and then this woman almost caught us and suddenly I had to pretend I was an old friend from school or something. Afterwards I found out she was his wife."

"Is that how you know her?"

"Yeah." and after a while. "I'm not proud Howard."

"No." Pause. "What did he mean when he said is this about Howard again?"

Vince shook his head furiously and buried his face in his knees.

"Come on, truth time."

The younger man continued to shake his head until Howard caught it in both hands and held it still. Their faces were close. Too close. Much too close. Howard let one hand drop, leaving his other resting on the younger man's cheek. His thumb gently stroking across his sharp cheekbone.

"We were… you know…" Vince blushed. "Doing what lovers do."

'He has changed' thought Howard, when he last knew Vince he'd say things like 'for god sake Howard it's only sex' but now… he seemed disgusted to admit it.

"And I, I…" Vince stopped. He looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"It's okay." Howard promised so quietly he wasn't even sure he's spoken. They were hardly making a sound, Howard felt that if he breathed he'd break this weird spell. "Tell me." the older man urged.

"I shouted your name." Vince gabbled, his eyes dropping to the floor, though Howard held his face gently in place. "I don't know why. No, that's a lie. I do… it's because I, I love you. Always have. Always will." he brought his eyes back up to meet Howard, who still wasn't sure he was breathing again yet or not.

"I…" the older man started, leaning still closer to Vince. Their lips brushing tantalisingly together, their breath mingling. Vince closed his eyes. Howard tilted his head slightly to the right, his hand sliding to the back of Vince's neck, pulling the smaller man towards him. They lips met and…

"DADDY!"

They leapt apart.

"MUMMY!"

Vince laughed coldly. "I guess that's fate telling us this can never happen. 'No Vince, you can never be with the man you love and this is the reason.' and just like that your son cries."

Howard was staring at the floor. "I better go and see what he wants."

"I'll tell you what he wants - his mummy and his daddy, together. And that's why this, us… it can never happen."

"Don't say that." Howard begged.

"But it's true. Your son comes first, he has too."

"So we'll be together after that, when he's left home."

"You can't expect me to wait that long." cried Vince.

"No. I don't expect you to do anything. I just wish that you'd come back to me when he can fend for himself."

"No." Vince said quietly. "I have to leave. I can't do this anymore. I might go and find Naboo in America. I'm sure he'd put me up for a while. Or Bollo? I bet he could get me a part in a film or something."

"Don't be stupid… you can't leave. What am I supp-"

"DADDY!" Little Vince's shout cut him off. "DADDY. THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY WARDROBE!"

"Go and see your son, Howard." whispered Vince.

"Wait here." groaned the older man, getting to his feet.

Vince heard Howard open his sons door and say gently, "Hey, Vince. What's going on? D'you say there's a monster in the cupboard? I'm sure there's not. Shall I have a look?"

"He's there Daddy. I saw him."

"Are you sure you weren't dreaming? Look, there's nothing in there."

"Is he okay?" asked a new voice, Maria's.

"He's fine." Howard reassured, "Aren't you Vincey?"

"Yeah. Daddy scared of the monster's with his big horrible moustache."

Vince, from his position huddled in Howard's room, allowed himself a silent laugh - he still maintained that little Vince was the coolest kid he'd met.

"Daddy's moustache is fine." Maria crooned. "It make's him look very sexy."

"Urgh!" said little Vince, mimicking exactly what his older namesake was thinking.

"Close your eyes, little man." Howard said to his son and just like that those two little words told Vince everything he needed to know. There was already one little man in Howard's life; he didn't need another one. He crept silently out of the bedroom and was halfway down the stairs when Maria's voice stopped him

"Vince."

"Yeah?" he asked turning back to see Howard with his arm around Maria's waist. He wanted to slap her but he just forced himself to just smile politely.

"Howard was just saying you've come up from London and that you haven't got anywhere to stay and I was thinking, why don't you use our spare room?"

"Oh I wouldn't want to…"

"I insist." exclaimed the slightly intoxicated woman. "You stay and then Howard can take you to the train station in the morning. He said you can't drive. I mean, I've got work but I'm sure you'll be fine with Howard."

Vince gave Howard and uncertain look. He just smiled warmly back and said "Maria suggested it."

Vince nodded and, realising it was either this or the streets, he said "Thanks Maria, that'd be great."


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't long before everyone else was leaving.

("I'll walk you to where ever you're going." Joe had said to Vince.  
"He's not going anywhere." Howard smiled, a little smugly "He's staying in our spare room.")

As soon as the last person had gone, Maria went to bed saying she had to get up early in the morning, which left Vince and Howard alone with a bottle of red wine that simply had to be finished off. Howard poured Vince a glass. He slurped it gratefully, the drink staining his lips a dark, luscious red. Suddenly, he giggled stupidly and said,

"I hate wine. It's tastes funny."

"Sorry, I haven't got anything else."

"S'ok. I've tasted worse. Lilly bought this stuff from Costcutter once that tasted like cheap vinegar. It was disgusting."

"Mmm." the older man felt uncomfortable when Vince pointed out the vast differences in the way their lives had played out.

"What music have you got in your CD player?" Vince asked suddenly getting up and walking to the huge stereo in the corner of the room.

"You can't put that on. You'll wake up Vince."

"I'll put it on quietly." he promised. "Opening the CD tray. Oh dear, weather report? John Coltrane? And… hey, Rolling Stone's greatest hits. Genius." he grinned, balancing his glass on the unsteady CD rack. "What are you doing with good music, eh?"

"It's Vince's. We were in a record shop and he saw it. He threw a blue fit until eventually we bought it."

"Cool kid."

"Influential teacher." corrected Howard. "He goes on and on about 'Mr Noir'."

Vince grinned, "Well, I am pretty cool but you wouldn't know anything about cool."

"I'm very 'cool' now, sir."

"Nah, you're just surrounded by more people who are equally uncool."

"Well, if 'cool' means no home, no proper job and no real friends. Then, you can keep it."

Vince felt he'd been sliced open. He knew he was failing and that his life wasn't going exactly how he'd planned all those years ago but he didn't need it rubbed in his face by the man he still loved.

"Sorry." Howard apologized, seeing the look on his friend's face. "I didn't mean…"

"It's okay." Vince lied, filling the awkwardness with a long swig of wine. "So, does little Vince like the Stones?"

"Loves them. Listen's to them all the time. It's like having you around again."

"And you named him Vince so…"

"Yeah, well… it was the only way of making these years without you bearable."

"Don't Howard, don't make things awkward.""I'm serious. If he hadn't been here I would never have coped."

"Yeah, you would." Vince said solemnly. "You'd have coped, just like I have. We change, we adapt, we survive."

"It can't have been that bad. You're the sunshine kid."

"Even sunshine people have bad patches. Colours fade to black with the odd streak of murky grey. My life's become like a dodgy comb over."

Howard raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"A disastrous cover hiding something that's even worse underneath." Vince explained.

Howard suddenly burst out laughing. "That was deep for you, even if it was hair related."

"Shut up." snorted Vince, throwing a pillow at him and knocking the wine glass out of his hand, so that it spilt all over the cream carpet. Howard swore sharply under his breath and went to get some carpet cleaner.

"Don't worry." slurred Vince, the alcohol beginning to take full affect now. "I'll just pour some white wine over it."

"No stop!" shouted Howard, as the younger man tipped the bottle.

"Ooops." giggled Vince, "That was red wine too."

Howard slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand exasperatedly. And then, he laughed. He laughed and laughed like he'd never seen anything so funny in his life and soon Vince was laughing too, flopping onto the sofa, spilling yet more wine over the seats. Howard landed next to him and looked at the red puddle soaking into the floor and whistled, "Maria is going to kill me."

"She wont, she'll kill me."

"Yeah, but I invited you into the house." laughed Howard, turning to look at his friend. "I'm glad you came tonight. Feels like old times."

"Yeah, a bit." grinned Vince.

"Except , your clothes." Howard pointed out. "You're not dressed like a futuristic prostitute anymore."

"Mmm."

"It's a shame. I used to like your clothes."

"No you didn't." scoffed the younger man. "You used to take the mick out of them all the time."

"Yeah, doesn't mean I didn't like them."

"I know what you mean, I actually started to miss your scatting. How sad is that?"

"I don't do that anymore."

"Why not?"

"Maria, used to sing with me… sort of spoiled it a bit. I liked it when it was just 'my thing', you know and it annoyed you." Howard grinned.

"You berk." chuckled Vince, sipping more of his wine. "Blergh!" he spat "This really is rank wine." provoking both men to leap into a crimp about cheap wine, then they rolled about laughing.

"It's a long time since I've done that." whooped Howard, pouring more drink into the glasses.

--

A few hours and a bottle and a half of wine later, Vince stood up and staggered straight into the CD rack sending it crashing to the floor.

"D'you think anyone heard?" Vince whispered, looking at Howard with an expression of total fright.

From upstairs the tell tale call of "DADDY!" answered Vince's question.

"Come on." Howard slurred, hauling Vince with him. "It's late we should be going to bed… errr, I mean, I should be going to bed and you should be going to bed." he blushed. "Not the same bed."

"No." Vince agreed.

"Different beds."

"Yes." the other man nodded.

"DADDY! There's a burglar in the house! Quick! Daddy!"

"Let's go." Howard said, linking his arm with the smaller man. They squeezed up the stairs side by side, not sure whether they were holding each other up or dragging each other down but either way they managed it eventually.

They got to the top of the stairs, they let go of each other causing Vince to topple dangerously. The older man instinctively caught him and suddenly they were, face to face. Eye to eye. Gazing deep into each others very souls. So close. Noses touching. Breath mingling. Face's brushing together. Cheek to cheek in a weird drunken dance. And then the inevitable became the reality and their lips brushed together.

Vince jumped back like he'd been shocked. "I'm so sorry." he gabbled. "I didn't mean it. I'm… sorry."

"Vince, it's okay." Howard said drunkenly. "It's okay. I did it too."

"Yeah but…"

"Shhh." interrupted the older man, placing a finger sloppily over the smaller man's lips. "I love you Vince and don't you ever forget it. I. love. you." and before Vince could respond a pair of soft lips were pressed against his own. Hand's running so lightly over his shoulders and down his arms to rest on the small of his back. A feather light touch, which was worshiping him. Treating him like he deserved to be treated. Vince's own hands had moved gently to Howard's hair; holding him in place. He never wanted the kiss to end but he knew it would. He could feel the end coming. He could anticipate the interruption coming. Even as Howard deepened the kiss, Vince could feel the presence of someone small behind him. He heard the quiet gasp and then the whispered cry of "Daddy! What's happening? Why are you kissing Mr Noir?"

--

"Vince." Howard jumped, pushing the other man away and rushing to pick up his son.

"What's Mr Noir doing here?"

"He's staying in our spare room. We used to be good friends. I bet you didn't know that, did you?"

"No. Mr Noir?"

"Yes, Vince?"

"Why were you kissing my daddy?"

"I… I'm…" The child's teachers faltered

"He's French." Howard announced.

"I'm what?"

"You're French. That's how friends say goodnight in France."

"Really?" little Vince's eyes grew wide.

"Yeah." lied Vince.

"Can you speak French?" asked the boy.

"Err, oui." Vince bluffed.

"I didn't know you were French." smiled little Vince.

"What with a surname like Noir?" smiled Howard, "Come on little man." he stroked his son's hair, "let's get you back to bed."

Little Vince nodded, yawning against his dad's chest whilst his namesake, stood wringing his fingers nervously.

When Howard returned Vince had disappeared into the spare room. The older man thought he could hear the faint sound of sobbing, seeping under the door but he decided to turn a blind eye (or ear) and went to his own room, where his beautiful wife was sleeping peacefully. Unaware of what was going on inside her husbands head every time he touched her. Unaware that her life wasn't as straight forward as it seemed. Unaware that Howard sat up in bed all night forcing himself to stop thinking about Vince, whilst staring at a picture of the family he'd learnt to love.

He remembered bitterly the words Vince had spoken to him earlier that evening _'you can never be with the man you love and this is the reason_'. Howard knew his situation was hopeless and knowing Vince was just next door made it worse. Knowing he could just run in there now and just hold him, he was sure that would be enough to quench his need.

He'd naïvely thought that seeing Vince again would remind him of why he'd left in the first place but it had only served to remind him of why he'd left. He stupidly believed that their time spent apart had led him to remember an idolised version of Vince, a perfect vision, that the real Vince could never live up to. But when the electro-poof had arrived back in his life, even though he was much less electro these days, Howard still sparked with untameable electricity. And the kiss? He'd forgotten that kissing could be like that… he'd forgotten how good life could be. He didn't like what he was becoming. He hated what he was putting Vince and Maria through. He hated his situation and he hated himself for getting into it.

* * *

**Check me out with all the updates, just proves how boring my life is... that AND my parents are out of the house and so can't ration my laptop hours!! =] (Bloody Exams. They're a nightmare, though I've never had that nightmare. Last nightmare i had I was chased across a never ending field by a beanbag with deerfeet - try explaining that in the morning when people ask why you look tired :P)**

**Anyways, thanks for readinggg!!**

**Sisi...xx**

Hooray!


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Vince stayed lying in bed for a long time, just waiting. He was waiting until he was sure Maria and Vince had left for school, waiting until there was only Howard to be embarrassed around. How had he let himself be so stupid? How had he let his emotions get the better of him? He hadn't meant to kiss Howard. He hadn't meant to dig up all those buried feelings again but, when Howard was that close, he just hadn't been able to resist the pull. All he wanted now was to leave this house and this situation, but where could he go? He didn't have a home. Lilly's tiny flat was the thing that most resembled a home and he was pretty sure she wouldn't want him there this morning, not if things had gone well with Gary, which he had a _sinking_ feeling it would have. Vince chuckled at his feeble little joke and felt weirdly proud of himself for coming up with it so early in the morning; well, mid-morning. It was, after all, nearly 11. He'd have to get up soon. He couldn't pretend to sleep forever and if Howard came to get him… If he, Howard and a bed were in the same room, well, he couldn't be held accountable for his actions. Delicious thoughts started to invade his head but he pushed them out forcefully. He couldn't think like that. It was never going to happen so what was the point of torturing himself.

"Vince." Howard's voice called through the door. "You awake? Can I come in?"

"No." Vince virtually screamed. "I'm… naked!" He lied and then cursed himself. He hadn't needed to say that, there was no reason to make things more awkward than they already were. Howard probably wasn't about to ask 'why' he couldn't come in. Outside the room he thought he heard Howard clear his throat, sounding a little embarrassed before continuing,

"Right, well… when you're dressed. We'll go out for breakfast on the way back to… well, where ever you want to go. I'm assuming you still can't drive."

"Nah, I can't. Imagine that, me driving. It'd be a disaster. Worse than gig me and Leroy did, remember glam-Goth?"

"How could I forget?" laughed Howard, "Anyway, that was doomed from the beginning. I think you could drive, if you had the right teacher."

"Oh yeah?" Vince said, appearing through the door, fully dressed (thankfully, thought Howard though a small part of him was slightly disappointed). "You know anyone?"

"Well, there's a few driving schools around, but they all cost a fortune but… I wouldn't mind teaching you, you know, if you wanted."

Vince pulled a face like he'd just smelt something funny. "You! You couldn't teach me. You can't teach!"

"I'll have you know I'm a geography teacher."

"Are you?"

"No… but I could have been."

"Whatever." smirked Vince softly.

--

The morning passed pleasantly, both men were desperately glad that the other didn't seem to want to discuss the night's events. There was no mention of the kiss, no mention of the admission of love, no mention of Howard's son or Vince's sudden acquirement of French ancestry. It was all reminiscing and old times. Good times, times they both cherished above anything else.

Howard had paid for breakfast, eventually, ("Let me pay for my own, I'm not your bitch." - "No, you're my guest." - "I'll pay for my own." - "Have you got any money?" - "…" -"Right, shut up then.") and now they were pulling up outside Lilly's block of flats. Vince only realised now, after spending the night in the suburbs in a four bedroom house, just how run down this block of flats was. There was the usual old beggar sat outside the front door, who called to Vince as he got out of the car.

"Look at you, your highness. Turning up in a BMW, thinking you're better than the rest of us. We all know you ain't got a home either. You just got 'rich friends'" he snarled. "Just cause you can bed a couple of gullible old men and convince 'em to give you a lift back here in the morning. Or women. You ain't fussy are you Vincey? So long as they give you food in the morning and a bed at night, you don't care what you've got to screw to get it."

"You know I'm not like that." Vince hissed back at him, fully aware that Howard was drinking up every word with increasing interest.

"What about the woman in the Audi then?"

"She was my boss! She'd just given me a lift home from work!"

"And that fat man in the Merc.?"

"He was… a mistake"

"And this guy?" the old man, pointed at Howard, who'd just got out of the car after deciding that, if there were people like this around, he should probably walk Vince to the door.

"What are you doing?" Vince asked him, as the other man locked the car. "This isn't a good area. That'll get nicked."

"Central locking, it'll be fine."

"Remember the crack fox? His entire empire is around here. Car like that will get trashed up in seconds."

"I'm only going to be a couple of minutes."

"Well, don't blame me when you get back and your cars on bricks and you have to skip home."

"Oi! Vincey!" The beggar called, annoyed at having his question ignored. "What about this guy? You screw him to get yourself a nice breakfast?"

"Yup. And, just so you know… best I ever had!" Then he flounced angrily in through the entrance. Howard following at a pace that meant he was almost running.

"Come on Skippy." Vince said, urging him to keep up.

"Why did you say that?" Howard asked, when he'd finally caught up with his friend.

"Oh, because he was annoying me. Don't worry, no one believes a word he says. He's just an old alcoholic. He accuses me of everything. For some reason he took a total dislike to me right from the beginning. I think it's coz I'm from '_down south__'_" he explained putting on a very convincing Yorkshire accent.

"What was that?"

"I lived here three years, I recon my regional accent is better than yours."

"How? I'm from here. This is _my_ regional accent."

"I know, I'd have thought you'd have been better at it by now, if I'm honest."

Howard gave the smaller man a playful shove as they began their climb up the fifteen flights of stairs to Lilly's flat.

--

Finally, after trudging up countless steps and dodging far too many undesirables, which made Howard shudder and Vince giggle, they arrived at the flat.

Vince knocked on the door in the tune of 'Cars'. "So she knows it's me." he explained.

The door opened and an attractive, far too skinny girl was revealed, wearing clothes that were too big for her, which gave the appearance as though she'd suddenly lost a ton of weight over night.

"Gary here?" Were Vince's first words.

"No. He's gone."

"What happened?"

"It's your bloody fault."

"Oh." his face dropped. "I'm so sorry. Did he say he couldn't stay because I'm too weird or something? Or did I upset him?"

"No, not exactly… fine, it wasn't your fault. I'd just had enough of the vast number of boat stories after two hours, so I asked him if he wanted to watch a film and he said he only liked a few films 'Jaws' and 'Free Willy'. I just told him to leave. How did your evening go?" Then her eyes darted from Vince to Howard and back again, she leant in very close to her friend, and using her hand as a sort of shield from the northerner, whispered, "Is that him?"

"Yeah."

"He's taller than I thought."

"Mmm."

"And more… serious. Actually, he look's quite boring."

"D'you mind?" Howard said irritably, "Just because you've put your hand up, doesn't mean I can't hear you."

"I know." said Lilly, as though it were Howard who was being stupid. Vince laughed and said,

"Howard, this is Lilly. Lilly, Howard."

"Pleasure." she drawled. "I need a fag. You got one Vince?"

"Nah, but there's some emergency cigs on top of the shelf in the bathroom."

"Cheers."

"She's lovely." mocked Howard, once the girl had gone in search of nicotine.

"Leave her alone. She's been amazing to me and watch where your putting your great hefty feet. You are technically walking on my bed."

Howard looked down at the floor. It was filthy and there was more than one suspicious looking stain on the carpet and… what was that scurrying behind the papers?

"Have you got rats?"

"No."

"Mice?"

"I think we've got one mouse, Mickey."

"Inventive."

"Shut up." laughed Vince, "You want a drink, or have you got somewhere to be?"

"Well, I've got to got to work."

"What d'you do Howard?" Lilly asked, returning from the bathroom smoking two cigarette's at once before offering one to Vince. Vince's eyes flicked to Howard's disapproving face and said, "I don't want it, thanks."

"Oh come on, he ain't your dad."

"I only smoke socially anyway."

"Yeah, and I'm having one so you're having one. Come on or I'll feel left out."

"Nah, you have 'em both."

"Fair enough." grinned Lilly. "Sooooooooo Howard, what job d'you do?"

"I'm in property management."

"No way!" scorned Vince. "That's so boring! Oh my god, on a list of most boring jobs ever that's gotta be right up there with accountancy and maths teacher." Then seeing Howard's hurt face he added, "But it's cool."

"And," Lilly reminded him "nowhere near as boring as one of your jobs."

"Oh yeah, what d'you do Vince?"

"I'm a Quality Control Officer for Cornflakes." he answered importantly.

"Tell him what that means." chortled Lilly.

"I'd rather not."

"Go on." urged the older man.

"Fine." Vince sulked, "I have to sit and watch the toasted flakes leaving the toaster on a conveyor belt and if I see a burnt one, then I have to flick it off the belt with a spoon. Don't laugh." He ending threateningly.

Silence. And then… Howard practically exploded with laughter. "That's your job?""One of them." Vince shrugged, blushing furiously. "I made it fun though. Put lots of different colour pots on the other side of the conveyor and I aim for them. Blue's 10 points, 5 points for yellow and only 2 point's for green."

This only served to make Howard laugh even harder. "Sorry, sorry." he gasped through laughs, realising suddenly he was hurting his friend's feelings. "I didn't meant to laugh" he dried a tear. "That sound's great. Really."

"Hmph." was the only response.

"Worst thing is it takes him over an hour to get there in the morning because of the train timetables, so he has to be up at five." Lilly chuckled, puffing two mushroom clouds of smoke into Howard's face.

"Well," spluttered the older man, "I _have_ offered to teach him to drive."

"You should do that Vince. I'm sick of driving you places."

"Hmm."


	6. Chapter 6

Howard hadn't stayed at the flat long. He'd been incredibly uncomfortable there. He didn't fit in with Vince's new life, but then again, he hadn't really fitted in with his old life and they'd still managed to stay friends and the 'deep, molten sexual tension'? Well, it wasn't _much_ worse than it used to be. He was sure that teaching Vince to drive would be safe enough and it would give him a perfectly innocent excuse to go and see him once a week, no awkward questions asked.

When he had told Maria the arrangements she'd looked less than happy but she was kind at heart and decided to turn a blind eye to her husband's friendship with a man who was well known in the rougher parts of Leeds for whoring himself out with the hope of getting free shelter or food or both. At least that's what she'd heard from Babs, who'd heard it from Tina, who'd heard it from Rose, who'd heard it from Caitlin, who'd heard it from Rachael, who'd been told by a man she'd met a while back in a pub.

Now, the moustached man was sat outside the block of flats, feeling all of a sudden very nervous. He kept checking he looked alright in the mirror and was all too aware of the beggar staring at him from across the pavement. Howard gave the old man an awkward half wave, before turning to tap his fingers impatiently on the dashboard. He'd rung Vince over ten minutes ago, telling him he was outside and, as usual, Vince had said 'be right down' and, as usual, it was taking him forever.

This was their third driving lesson, which had led Lilly to stand by the door not letting Vince out until he agreed to smarten up a bit more.

"Let me out, he's waiting."

"No, this is your third date. Put on your tight jeans."

"I don't wear them anymore."

"You do when you want attention. I've seen you slipping them on when you go to a club."

"Right, but I'm not going to a club or on a date, I'm going driving."

"Third lesson though." she smirked raising her eyebrows.

"And…"

"We all know what happens on a third date."

"Except for you, that happens on a first date."

"You bitch."

"Bye." he laughed, kissing her on the cheek to disguise the fact he was moving her from in front of the door. He darted through it and was gone.

--

"Sorry." he panted when he reached the car, ignoring the beggar's shouts of

"He's back again Noir. You must like him. He pay well?".

"Lilly wouldn't let me out of the house. She was stood there like a cave woman waving a club around her head and then" he grinned, lapsing into his old personality, "Then I met a talking cowboy hat on the seventh floor and had to help it find it's owner."

Howard tried, unsuccessfully, to hide a smirk. "You shouldn't have bothered. I'm sure it's owners would have found it eventually."

"Maybe, but you know what I'm like with accessories. I couldn't just let him sit there asking for directions, could I? Plus, he didn't have any legs so… he couldn't walk there on his own."

"You were just doing the right thing?"

"Exactly. So, where're we going?"

"I was thinking you could drive on the roads today."

"Really?" Vince looked more than a bit nervous. "I was quite happy in the car parks, if I'm honest with you."

"Rubbish, you'll be fine. Jump out and put the 'L' plates on."

--

"Go into second. Good. Mirrors."

"I'm doing it."

"Alright. Indicate."

"I am."

"After this purple car."

"Okay. Wow, what a cool colour for a car? Did you see it, it was purple with pink spots? Now, yeah?"

"No. You missed the gap. After the blue one."

"Okay." Vince stuck his tongue out, concentrating very hard. Foot slowly off the brake, other foot slowly on the accelerator and… stall.

Vince swore loudly and began to scrabble around pushing every button his skinny hands could find. Pretty soon, the hazards, the windscreen wipers and the horn were all going off simultaneously, forcing Howard to reach over and turn the key. Then, still leant across Vince's knees, he looked up at his friend, who was blushing and looking slightly surprised by Howard's new very close slightly compromising position. Howard wanted to reach up and touch the younger man's face. To feel the soft skin under his finger tips. He wanted to reach up and kiss him. He wanted everything and so much more. He could tell Vince was having similar thoughts, until he broke the spell by clearing his voice and saying "Cheers Howard. I was beginning to panic then."

Ignoring the angry horns from behind him, he turned the engine back on and drove effortlessly for a few miles. Howard even stopped giving him instructions, just letting the younger man get on with it. It seemed Vince was much better at this that Howard would have ever expected.

"Better start heading home soon." he mused softly. "Take a right at the end of the road."

"Okay." Vince smiled, indicating to turn left.

"Other right, little man." Again that bloody nick name. He saw Vince smile but, like every other slightly awkward moment, they both stored it in the back of their minds, pretending it never happened. Only to get it out again later when they were all alone and study it carefully. Going through it in painstaking detail, wondering what it meant, if it meant anything at all.

"Okay." Vince said again, but he didn't correct his error. Instead he just turned left.

"Where are you going?"

"A place." Vince said, mysteriously. He looked a little uneasy, and kept scrutinizing the signs like someone who was lost, until he saw it in the distance, lit up with a pink neon sign 'The Screaming Saxophone'.

"Come on." he grinned. "Let's go have a drink."

"I haven't been here in years." Howard smiled. "I think it's been taken over by new owners. I don't know who though."

They wouldn't have to wait long to find out. As soon as they walked through the door a very loud, very brash, very American voice shouted "VINCEY!"

"Alright Mr Fossil." Vince squirmed.

"Well, I'm okay except last week, I had a splinter and it hurt and no one was there to get it out. I asked a man but he just threw potato skins at me and called me a moth Pope!"

"Right."

"But how are you, my little baby blue blanket baby little blue boy?"

"Fine. I didn't know you worked here."

"I don't _work_ here! I own it. The Screaming Saxophone" And just like that the American was screaming in their faces, in weird Bob Fossil emphasis of the word 'screaming'.

"But it's Jazz." frowned Vince

"It's Jazz?" He spat on Howard's shoes. "I hate Jazz! But I've got big plans for this place Vincey, I'm going to turn it into a Zlub!"

"A zlub?"

"Yeah, Zlub. It's a cross between a zoo and a club. Animal's will come here and get wasted, you know put there hooves up, talk to a pizza. I'll get some hooker baboons in to work the poles. I hear they're horny as hell this time of year."

"That sounds… electric." scorned Vince. "You remember Howard, Mr Fossil."

"Moon! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" he struck a karate pose. "The only woman I ever loved kicked me out of my home because of you."

"I thought you lived with your mum, Mr Fossil." Howard said matter-of-factly.

"I do… did. Except, I spent all her money on a shrink to get over you. You and the stint I spent in VIETNAM!"

"You were never in Nam. Anyway, I thought you had a shrink to get over the fact your dad gave you Broccoli for Christmas when you were three."

"No!" Fossil was yelling again. "Daddy! I don't want Broccoli. No not a carrot either… ahhhhhhhh! Screw you Moon." he shouted suddenly. "I hate you and your tiny eyes. Get out of my Zlub! Get out!"

"Run, run." squeaked Howard, and the pair legged it from the club trying to avoid various missiles being launched by Fossil (mainly straws and ice).

As soon as they were safe outside, Vince burst out laughing.

"I wasn't expecting that." he giggled "I thought we'd sit down and have a nice quiet drink, not run for our lives from a crazy ex-boss. But I guess that's what it's like hanging around with you." he grinned. "You're always getting yourself in crazy little situations, needing me to save you."

"Yeah, where would I be with out you, eh?" then, without really thinking, Howard put his arm around Vince's shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug. Vince beamed up at him and immediately both men realised they were too close. The closer they were, the harder it was to resist. Howard's eyes flicked to the smaller mans lips, who's instinctive reaction was to lick them provocatively. Howard wasn't even sure Vince knew he was doing it, but he wished he wouldn't. He'd stopped. Thank god. But now his head was tilted slightly to the side in adorable confusion and Howard knew, without a shadow of a doubt, he couldn't resist Vince. His dark hair, his blue eyes, his soft lips, the way he made him feel when they were together and just like that he kissed him.

Vince tried to pull away, saying something about Maria but it's very hard to say anything at all when someone else's tongue has taken up residence in your mouth. He quickly gave in to the culpable kiss allowing the guilty pleasure to take him over. Finally, when they broke apart Vince just whispered,

"I have to go."

"No come back. I'm sorry." Howard called, "I'll take you home."

"Only if you can promise me _that_ won't ever happen again."

Howard hung his head in guilty silence.

"Thought not. I'll take the bus."

"Vince, don't be stupid."

"I'm not, what we just did, that was stupid. You're married Howard. Go home to her. Forget about me."

"But I lov-"

"Don't say it." Vince begged, "Please, this is hard enough as it is. Don't say it."

"But it's true."

An eerie silence descended around them. Vince's eyes were brimming over. This was too difficult. He'd thought loving Howard all this time had been bad enough but loving him and seeing him and knowing he felt the same and still not being allowed to have him. This was a whole new genre of pain. He felt his heart bleed and throb and seer. Every time the harsh reality of their doomed love hit him, it was like being shot , and suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

"I hate you!" he screamed.

"What?"

"I hate you! I hate you, you've ruined my life. You're fat. You're old. You're boring. You're thick. You pretend to be a maverick but you're not - you're a nobody. No one likes you! Least of all me." The lies kept coming. "You're useless. You're a terrible friend. A rubbish driving teacher." He could see each word hitting Howard like tiny bullets, ripping through his skin, breaking into his chest and shattering his heart but Vince _had_ to keep going. Now that he'd come to the conclusion that they could never see each other again, he had to make Howard hate him because, if Howard hated him, it would be easier to leave him behind. He was right in the older man's face now. "I hate you! This time with you was the worst of my life. I wish I'd never met up with you again. No, I wish I'd never met you in the first place. I wish you'd never been born!"

And then, he was on the floor. He found himself face to face with the end of a brown corduroy trouser leg and a shiny black shoe. He only just managed to stop himself from telling Howard that that combination was a insult to the fashion world, but now wasn't the time and besides his mouth was full of blood. Stars danced in front of his eyes. Black spots, purple green.

He looked up, through a quickly bruising eye, to see Howard standing over him, panting heavily.

"You hit me." Vince said dumbly. He'd done it, broken him. He'd made Howard hate him. That was what he wanted, wasn't it?

Howard mumbled something that might have been apology, Vince wasn't sure. He just stood up, spitting a mouthful of blood at the pavement near Howard's shoes, saying, "Get away from me."

The older man looked stunned for a moment and then retaliated viciously, "Gladly. I'd forgotten what a selfish little bastard you were! But this, this reminds me of why I left in the first place. Goodbye Vince." He turned sharply on his heels and stormed down the street towards his car, with a definite air of finality.

'_Don__'__t leave me._" Vince thought.

"Don't come back!" Vince screamed. It came out slightly choked from the tears that he'd tried to hide. He'd tried to squash them deep down inside him but they weren't obeying orders and were charging down his face like an AWOL army of salty droplets.

Howard could hear the sobs in his friend's voice but he wasn't going to turn around, not this time. This was it for Howard and Vince, forever. It was for the best. He got in the car and drove off. Only five miles later, he had to pull over at the side of the road. He hadn't been able to see through the tears that were clogging up his eyes. So, he just sat their and wept, until a policeman knocked on the window asking him to move along.

--

"You okay honey?"

"…"

"Howard?"

"…"

"Howard!" Maria, who was curled up against her husband, said, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"What?" he sighed.

"You seem… distracted. You okay?"

"Mmm, I'm fine."

"You haven't said much since you've come in."

"Mmm."

"You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired that's all. Actually, I think I'm gonna go to bed." he placed a timid kiss on his wife's head and got up, slowly, dislodging her from her cat-like position.

Maria frowned thoughtfully. She knew Howard well enough to know when he was lying. She could tell something was seriously wrong in his life but she couldn't for the life of her work out what. All she knew was that Howard had been acting very differently recently and she needed to know why.

--

Vince got back Lilly's flat very late that night. He'd called a taxi, which had taken him most of the way on the money he had, but he'd had to walk the last few miles and he'd got lost countless times. The good thing about taking so long, he thought, was that he had longer to try and hide how upset he was from Lilly. He'd stopped crying a while ago and now he could say his eyes were just watering from the cold wind. He knew his face was still red and blotchy, but he could blame that on the pin prick attack that his hair and the wind had teamed up to mount on his face. He was sure that by the time he walked through the door to Lilly's flat he looked fine but she just took one look at him and said,

"Oh my god! What's happened to your eye?" Damn. He'd forgotten about that.

"How bad is it?"

"Umm, looks like someone's blown half your face up with a bicycle pump. Did he hit you?" Lilly asked, searching, unsuccessfully, for some frozen peas or some ice in the freezer.

"Yeah… I mean no. We… crashed." Vince lied unconvincingly, walking to the mirror to study his bruise.

"Why did he hit you?"

"I made him." he sighed, wincing as he prodded the swollen area lightly with his fingers.

"How?"

"I told him I hated him and that I wished I'd never met him."

"Why?" Lilly didn't seem to be able to fathom what her friend was saying, as she placed the peas over his eye.

"Because he kissed me."

"Right, that makes perfect sense. Wait, no, no it doesn't. What's wrong with you? You love this man."

"That doesn't matter. He's got a wife and a kid. I come third in that order. I have to come third. I'm not being the man to break up that kid's family. I hated the man who did that to mine. I can't be him. I can't."

"Okay. I understand." said Lilly as gently as she could. Vince had told her some years ago about his dysfunctional family, about how his Mum had an affair and his Dad left her. The man moving in who'd tried to replace his dad by trying to stop him from wearing the clothes he wanted to wear and stopping him from being himself. Vince flopped down on the old sofa, one of the springs digging painfully into his back. He just led in silence for a while, thinking before, after a long silence, coming to a very painful conclusion.

"I have to leave."

"What?"

"I can't stay around here. Knowing he's so close, it'll kill me. I might go and find Naboo and Bollo in America."

"You can't just up and leave to America."

"Why not? What's stopping me? I haven't got a proper job or a proper home here. I'd miss you, obviously but apart from that… and you could come and visit whenever you wanted."

"No I couldn't. I haven't got the money. And neither have you."

"I've got enough for a plane ticket one way."

"And when you get there, how are you going to survive with no money, eh?"

"I've managed so far haven't I." he grinned.

"You really wanna do this?"

He thought for a moment and then said, "No… but I don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice Vince."

Vince shook his head firmly. "Not this time."

So Lilly, seeing the determination in her friend's eyes and realising she couldn't change his mind, said "Okay, Vince Noir. Let's book you a flight."

* * *

**Next chapter should go up tomorrow then I'm sorta away for a few days or at least I'm not going to be able to get to my laptop so… these are both fairly long chapters to amke up for it. Gotta dedicate this chapter to my friend Left T because she grammar checked it (therefore, if the grammar is crap, blame her.) Also, fans of Bob Fossil, don't review me saying that Fossil litterally couldn't be more out of character because I know. I suck at writing for Fossil but he's SO random and SO unpredictable I find it completely impossible. Sorry.**

**Sisi…xx**


	7. Chapter 7

"Are you seeing your friend Vince today?" Maria asked, over breakfast.

"No!" Howard practically shouted, causing his son to jump, knocking his orange juice all over the floor.

"Vince!" Maria scorned.

"Daddy made me jump." whined the five year old.

"Sorry." mumbled Howard. "Leave that, I'll do it." he told Maria who was beginning to mop up the mess.

"Daddy did shout loudly, didn't he?"

Howard said nothing.

"Like a monster." grinned Vince.

"Yeah, have you finished with your cereal darling?"

"Yes Mummy."

"Right. You go and wash your face then, quickly or you'll be late for school."

As the padding of tiny little feet disappeared down the corridor, Maria turned to fix Howard with a glare.

"What?" asked Howard a little irritably, lifting himself from his knees and placing the sopping kitchen roll in the bin.

"What was that about?"

"What was _what_ about?"

"Don't act stupid Howard. I asked you a question and you almost snapped my head off."

"Sorry." he muttered, sitting back down to finish his toast.

"You've been acting weird recently."

"I haven't."

"You have. Anyway, why aren't you seeing Vince today? Have you two fallen out? Is that what this ridiculous bad mood is about?"

"No. I don't have to see Vince every week!"

"Alright Howard, stop shouting at me. I just thought you'd be teaching him to drive today. You usually do on a Thursday."

"Well, he doesn't need my help anymore."

"Is he taking his test already? That's quick."

"No, he's not taking his test yet." Howard gritted his teeth irritably, ringing his fingers as though they were Vince's neck. "He's terrible at driving and he's thick as two short planks. No, eight short planks, no, fifty! He's just decided to go with a professional, that's all. Ungrateful git."

"Well, maybe it's for the best, eh? You don't have to worry about taking an hour off work every week now, do you?"

Howard could feel the beginning of five years worth of anger and frustration trying to force it's way out of him, but, like with everything he'd felt recently, he bottled it up,forced a smile and kissed his wife on the cheek, saying;

"You're absolutely right. Talking of work, aren't you leaving it a bit late?"

"Oh my goodness, look at the time. Vincent! Have you managed to get your clothes on?"

"No, I'm playing with my cars." was the reply.

"Oh no, we're going to be so late!"

A few minutes later Maria came storming back into the kitchen, looking totally flustered.

"What?" asked Howard.

"He can't go to school."

"Why not?"

"He's burning up in there so I put him on the bed while I went to get some medicine and by the time I'd got back he was asleep."

"Where is he now?"

"I've left him there, with a sheet over him but I doubt my mum'll be able to come over at such short notice."

"Well, I'll take the day off."

"You can't do that."

"I can, that's the beauty of being co-owner of a firm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be fine."

"Thanks darling." she said, kissing him on the cheek. "You're a star. I've got to go, I'm so late."

Howard called goodbye to his wife as she raced out the door and immediately went to phone work and tell them he wasn't going to be in today.

"Why not?" asked his partner.

"I've got problems with Vince." It was the truth in more ways than one. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have been going in today, even if little Vince had been fine.

"Family stuff, I understand. No problem Howard. See you tomorrow."

He hung up and suddenly felt very empty. He didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to ring Vince and apologize. He still couldn't believe he'd hit him. He'd never hit him in his entire life, no matter how much the little tit annoyed him. So why that time? Vince hadn't said anything particularly bad but Howard had been so confused. He'd had so many emotions surging through him; guilt, fear, anger, lust. All of this had just swirled around inside him, building like lava in a volcano, waiting to explode and Vince screaming in his face had been all the trigger he'd needed. Still, that wasn't an excuse. Nothing could excuse violence like that.

"I'm gonna ring him." Howard said suddenly, getting up and walking determinedly to the phone.

Just as he was about to punch the last number in, he hung up. A moment or two later, when he'd built up some courage, he dialled again. This time he let he ring a couple of times, before losing his nerve and replacing the receiver. The third time, someone answered it after one ring, taking Howard completely by surprise.

"WHAT!?" the girl screamed. "Stop pranking me, I ain't in the mood. Arsehole."

"Sorry." Howard gabbled, "I…um, er I… erm"

"You…um, er, erm, what?!"

"Is Vince there?"

"No, of course he's not here. You berk! He hasn't been here for a week. If this is Roger, get screwed. He wasn't interested in you anyway."

"Who's Roger?"

"Who are you?" The girl, who was obviously Lilly, asked.

"Howard."

"Oh, well you can get screwed too. Actually, you can go and screw your wife. You heartbreaking bastard!"

"Don't hang up!" Howard shouted, hearing Lilly's voice fading as she moved to put the phone down.

"Give me one good reason why I should talk to you."

"I need to speak to Vince."

"No you don't, you broke his heart. You messed with his head. Telling him you love him when you're married; you should be ashamed."

"I am." Howard said quietly, "But I couln't lie to him. I needed him to know how I felt."

"Well, now he knows and I'm sure he'd quite like it if you disappeared."

"Can you just put him on the phone now, please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he wouldn't want to talk to you."

"Just tell him I'm on the phone."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"He's on his way to America."

"He's what?" Howard asked, his stomach dropped. This couldn't be true, surely.

"Yeah, USA, America, The States. He's gone to stay with someone called Naroo?"

"Naboo."

"That's the one."

"Why?"

"Because living near you and knowing you two can never be together was, and I quote, 'tearing him up like a puppy with an old copy of Cheekbone magazine'."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. Now, can you put the phone down? I'm waiting for someone who isn't a waste of oxygen to ring."

Howard hung up and sank to the floor. Vince was leaving. Going to America. Getting away from Howard. So he hadn't been lying when he said he hated the older man. Howard felt sick, like someone was just ripping him up inside, tearing down everything that made him happy and forcing him into this half life he was beginning to become accustomed to.

He knew this was probably for the best. After all, he seemed completely unable to responsibility for his actions when he was around his old friend, but to never see him again, ever. That was new kind of pain Howard didn't think would ever stop. A type of pain that could never be healed. It wasn't long before his eyes were stinging from trying not to cry and the first of his tears escaped down his cheeks, landing silently in his lap.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sat like that, when he heard the shuffling of little feet. He looked up to see a blurry outline of his son in the doorway. He held out his arm gesturing the child to join him. His son sat on the floor next to him, snuggling up to him. He was sweaty and very hot. Maria was right, Vince wasn't very well, and Howard knew he had to try and comfort his son but at this moment it was Vince who was comforting Howard by putting podgy, little arms around his Dad's large body. Howard squeezed his son's shoulders, pressing a teary kiss into his wispy, brown hair ('Just like his father' he thought).

They'd sat there for a while but the inevitable question soon came, "Why are you crying Daddy?"

"I'm not." he forced a laugh, wiping his watering eyes with his palm.

"Are you allergic to something?"

"No, why would you ask that?"

"Mrs Long, she cries when she's near flowers because she's allergic to them."

"Oh," smiled Howard "no I'm not allergic to anything."

"Are you sad because Mummy's gone?"

"Yeah" Howard lied, deciding this was the easiest way to shut his inquisitive son up. "I miss mummy."

"But Mummy's only at work like she always is."

"I know, I'm just being silly."

"Are you sad because Mr Noir is gone?"

"No. Why would you ask… how do you even know that?"

"It was his last day in school yesterday. He said goodbye to everyone. He's gone to America to become a famous rock star. And, he told me that when he's famous and married to some good looking model that you, me and Mummy can go and visit him in his castle."

"Did he?"

"Yeah, are you sad because he's gone?"

"No." lied Howard.

"But you told him you loved him."

Howard faltered. Damn. Vince had heard more than he'd thought on that ill-fated night.

"We're just friends. I've told you this." Howard explained calmly, trying to keep his desperation for Vince to believe his lies out of his voice.

"But you told him you loved him and we shouldn't let people we love go."

"Who told you that?"

"It was in a fairy tale, Cinderella. Cinderella ran away because she didn't want to spoil things but the prince didn't give up looking for her. He kept looking until he found her, because he loved her."

"Is that right?" Howard asked, finding himself crying again now.

"Yeah, and he needed to give her that shoe back. I think it must have been a really expensive shoe because he _really_ wanted to give it back to her."

"If only life were more like fairy tales." sighed Howard. "Right, shall me and you go and see if there's a film for you on the TV."

"Yes please."

"Okay, you go in the sitting room and I'll get you your medicine."

-------

Had it been days, weeks, months? He wasn't sure. The monotonous melody of each day had led him to stop thinking. He just got up, went to work, came home and went to bed. Maria wasn't stupid, she knew something wasn't right and so did Vince, though he couldn't really understand the situation.

"Here." he said sweetly, holding out his favourite teddy.

"What's this?" asked Howard, wondering if this was new elabourate way his clever little son had come with for avoiding going straight to bed.

"It's Blue Rabbit." he smiled. "He's my favourite toy, he cheers me up when I'm sad. I think he'll cheer you up too."

"That's very kind of you Vincey." smiled Howard weakly, pulling his son onto his knee and enveloping him in a big hug. "Thank you so much."

"S'ok. Me and Mummy just want you to be happy again… and so does Blue Rabbit." he added, beaming up at his dad.

"Thank you." Howard whispered tearfully, taking the toy gently. "And I'm sorry. I'll be happy again tomorrow. I promise. Night, night. Sweet dreams."

Maria lifted up the sleepy child up off his father's knee and took him upstairs. He picked sleepily at her jumper and Maria was convinced as soon as she put him down he'd be asleep but as she hit the top step the child was suddenly very much awake. He wriggled around until Maria had to put him on the floor and suddenly he darted into the spare room.

"Vincent." scorned his mother. "What are you doing?"

"I need a cuddly toy and I know there's some in here."

"Well, I'm sure Daddy will give Blue Rabbit back to you if you ask nicely." Maria suggested, following her son into the room and turning on the light switch so he could see what he was doing.

"No, he needs Blue Rabbit to be happy. This'll do." he said, picking up an old teddy of Maria's.

"Okay." she smiled, "You be careful with it though. It's very old." The child nodded solemnly. "Come on then. Bed." she continued, holding out her hand for Vince to hold onto.

As he took it, a silver flash on the bedside table caught his beedy little eye. He let go of his mum's hand and ran to it. It was a silver pendant, in the shape of a guitar.

"Mummy, who's is this?"

"I don't know." she said, puzzled for a moment or two trying to work out who'd used this room recently and then the penny dropped. "It must be Vince's."

"Me?"

"No." she laughed. "It's Mr Noir's from when he stayed in this room a while ago."

The child gasped, his brown eyes widening to unimaginable proportions.

"Mr Noir's." he whispered. "Daddy!" he suddenly screamed, legging it to the stop of the stairs.

"Vince, come back." Maria frowned, chasing her son down the stairs but it was no use he was much quicker. His little feet meant he cornered much quicker than she did, he, unlike her, wasn't above running and, on the stairs, he wasn't too old to be unable to slide on his bum.

Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

Howard looked up as Vince crashed through the sitting room door.

"Vince?" he gasped, "What are you doing up?"

"Daddy look, it's Mr Noir's."

Howard took the pendant gently. He recognised it immediately, Vince had had it since they were at the zoo. He used to wear it all the time. It was his favourite because... because Howard had bought it as a welcome to the zoo present. "Oh yeah."

"Is it valuable?"

"Yeah." sighed Howard. That was true. He hadn't earntmuch when he'd bought this and it wasn't expensive butit was valuable, everything shared between himself and Vince was.

"Then you have to find him. You're like the prince in Cinderella." shouted Vince.

"No I'm not." Howard gave a feeble laugh. "I'll send it to him in the post."

"But you have to give it to him. It's like the shoe. You can't give up, you told him you loved him."

Silence.

"Vince." said a quiet voice from the door. "Bed. Now please." Maria. She was acting calm but there was a tone in her voice which suggested she was devastated, confused and angry. Howard knew there was an uncomfortable conversation on the way but not yet. Not in front of Vince.

It seemed to take ages for Maria to return. She sat down silently on the chair in the other side of the room.

"So?" she said. "What was that about?" It was such a loaded question.

"Vince thinks I have to take the pendant back to him. He recons it's like Cinderella or something." Howard said, as casually as he could.

"He says you told Mr Noir you loved him." she said coldly.

"Yeah, as a friend." lied Howard quickly. "Platonic love. I just went 'I love you mate.'"

"'I love you mate'?" Maria repeated, disbelievingly "That doesn't sound like you. And you're not the type of person who tells people he loves them as friends."

"Well, I've known him a long time."

"Yeah, you have, so I guess it wouldn't be too strange that you tell him you love him platonically."

"Exactly."

"It is a little strange though, that you stuck your tongue down his throat!"

"How do you… I mean, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me Howard. I asked Vince _when _you told Mr Noir you loved him and he said that it was right before you kissed him goodnight. Apparently Mr Noir is French."

"Yeah, that's true." Howard said, but he knew he was bright red and sweating. He may aswell have been holding a sign saying 'I'm lying'.

"Yeah, but then Vince asked whether we could say goodnight like French people…"

"He what?" Howard choked his eyes widening.

"Yes, I'm assuming from the lookon your face you can guess how he thinks 'French people say goodnight'. Now i've never been to France but i don't think it involves shoving your tongue down the other person's throat. He accidentally told me everything."

They both fell into a silence loaded with electric tension. It would only be a moment or two until something exploded and they were yelling. But for now, they were still in a weird phoney-calm. "So?" Maria said after a while. "I'm waiting for an explanation."

Howard noticed she didn't seem angry, more… desperate. She wanted more than anything for Howard to give some perfectly reasonable explanation as to what had happened. She loved her husband and the thought of not having him terrified her. She had the perfect family, she didn't want to lose it.

Howard thought about telling her some long-winded, elaborate lie (something about it being all Vince Noir's fault) she'd have bought through the sheer desperation of not wanting to believe her husband was in love with someone else, but what was the point? It wasn't fair on himself and it certainly wasn't fair on Maria. He didn't want to drag out this 'happy family' charade any more. So he just looked at her and with a very serious tone he said simply,

"I'm sorry."

"No."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"No, no."

"I love you Maria, but… I'm not in love with you."

"Stop it."

"I never was."

"Please Howard, tell me you're joking." Maria begged, sobbing into her hands. "You don't mean it."

"I'm so, so sorry. I'm in love with Vince."

"No!" she practically screamed.

"I always have been."

"I don't believe you. You're not gay. We've got a son, how can you be gay?"

"It's not about that. It's... I just love Vince. I guess I was just too scared to admit it to myself before and by the time I did work it out, it was too late to do anything without hurting everyone. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well it hasn't worked!" she screamed, sobbing.

"Maria." Howard started, getting up from his seat and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Get off me!" she yelled, rising threateningly to her feet. "Get off me! Don't you ever touch me again you faggot."

Howard nodded, stepping back and then he said very quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not!"

Silence which was only broken by Maria's tragic sobs filled the air for a while until Howard said gently,

"Maria. You know I have to leave."

"You're not going anywhere!" she snarled

"But, I have to go and find him." Howard explained walking to the front door, Maria following closely behind, shouting all the insults under the sun. Just as Howard was about to open the door Vince yelled from upstairs.

"MUMMY! MUMMY! WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?"

"Are you going to leave your son?" Maria asked quietly, changing tact. This was her last hope and she knew it.

"I'll come back." Howard promised.

"No you wont!" she screeched "I mean it Howard, if you walk out of that door! That's the end for us!"

"Okay."

"And… you can't see Vince anymore." she blurted out.

Howard's stomach dropped. "W-what?" he whispered

"If you go to Vince. You can't see your son anymore." Maria repeated shakily.

"Don't make me choose." he begged.

"You have to."

"But I love him."

"Which one?"

"Both of them."

"Well, which one do you love more?"

"MUMMY! DADDY! WHAT'S HAPPENING?"

Howard's eyes flicked in the direction of his son's voice, then to the door and back to Maria, who by now looked demented. Her dark hair was all over the place her eyes were red and tear tracks of eyeliner were running down her cheeks.

"I'll go and see if he's okay." Howard mumbled, disappearing up the stairs, with that, he chose his Vince.

* * *

**Sorry, I don't know where all this angst comes from... and i'm such a happy person =S.**

**Thanks for reading anyway!  
Sisi...xx**


	8. Chapter 8

They lived hiding their mutual hatred from their son for just over a month. Maria had, for a while, gone on acting like her husband's admission of love for another man had never happened but Howard had refused to return to playing the perfect husband. He resented Maria for making him choose and he was beginning to blame her for all the wrong in his life. He could hardly stand to look at her anymore and chose to mope and sulk around the house like a moody teenager. Their married bliss had turned quickly sour but whenever little Vince was around it was all fake smiles and false compliments. However, when their son wasn't there, it was bitter rows and painful conversations. ("_You say you__'__ve always loved him, but you swore to be in our wedding vows it was me and you forever._") But, however hard they tried, they couldn't fool their inquisitive little son forever.

One afternoon, in the middle of watching the Tweenies, or some other equally annoying brightly coloured children's TV programme, Vince finally asked the question that had been a long time coming.

Maria walked into the room and asked, "Would you like a drink Sweetheart?". She was refusing to use Vince's name anymore, claiming was too painful a reminder.

"No thanks mummy."

"I'll have a cup of…""Get it yourself." she snapped at Howard, leaving angrily. He rolled his eyes and returned to reading his newspaper.

"Daddy," Vince asked suddenly, "why are you and mummy sad?"

"We're… umm…" Howard let out a long breath and folding his paper, wondering how you explain something as complicated as this to a five year old. "you know when you broke that vase and mummy took your favourite toy away."

"Yeah."

"Well, Daddy's broken something really, really important of mummy's and now she's taken away his favourite toy… forever."

"What did you break?"

Maria appeared in the doorway and Howard looked up at her before answering truthfully.

"Her heart."

"Mummy," Vince suddenly turned his attention to Maria. "Why don't you love daddy anymore?"

"Sweetheart, I do."

"And I love mummy." agreed Howard.

"But you don't tell each other anymore and you were shouting at each other yesterday."

"That was just a game." lied Maria.

"Maria," Howard said solemnly "I think he's smarter than we're giving him credit for."

His wife nodded. And then, she took the plunge. She'd been trying to work out how to bring this up with Howard for a while, but part of her still couldn't bear the finality of it all. However, now, seemed like the perfect opportunity so, without giving herself time to change her mind she said gently, "Vince, how would you feel if daddy didn't live here anymore?"

"Really?" Howard asked looking up.

She nodded solemnly. "What's the point in making this any worse than it already is?"

"I don't want daddy to go." Vince shouted, jumping up and throwing his arms around Howard's neck.

"Vince," Howard choked back tears, this was easily the hardest thing he had ever had to do. His stomach was curling up painfully and he felt sick. "Vince, Mummy and Daddy would be much happier and we'd get on a lot better if I moved into a different house."

"Will the house be close?"

"Yes." promised Howard."And will I still see you everyday Daddy?"

Howard looked nervously at Maria but she just nodded at him. She couldn't deny he was a good father and he deserved to still see his son but more importantly than that, Vince needed his dad in his life.

"Yes." Howard said thankfully, "I'll still see you everyday. I promise."

"And it'll make you both happy again?" asked Vince carefully.

"Yes." smiled Maria, sitting on the sofa very close to Howard.

"And we'll always love each other and you." said Howard, putting his one arm around Maria and touching Vince's shoulder comfortingly with the other.

"And this has got nothing to do with you, okay?" Maria added. "You're just as wonderful as you always are."

Vince swallowed hard, buried his head in Howard's shoulder, managing to put his arms small arms around both his parents and whispered, very softly, "Okay."

He'd cried after that but he'd recovered remarkably quickly when Maria told him he could go on the computer for an hour or two, which he wasn't usually allowed to do until a Friday.

"Thank you." Howard whispered gratefully, when Vince was set up on his favourite shooting game. Maria just shrugged. They were silent for a moment, neither sure who was supposed to make the next move.

"Kids." smiled Howard eventually, when they heard Vince shouting at the computer screen. "They're so fickle."

"Yeah." Maria smiled back weakly. "But that doesn't mean he's not hurting."

"I know."

Silence.

After a moment or two, Howard spoke up, "I have to go and find him, you know."

"I know."

"I'm so, so sorry."

"I know that too, but then again I should never have married you. I knew on our stag do their was something between you and him that we never had."

"If I could change things, I would."

"No you wouldn't." she smiled knowingly. Howard said nothing. He just gave a weak smile and walked into the room where Vince was and kissed him gently on the head and left. As he reached the door, Maria called after him. "Howard."

"Mmm?"

"Good luck."

Howard smiled gently and returned to kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you." he whispered, "I never deserved you. I'm so sorry." And with that he was gone.

Maria just stared at the door for a moment or two, a tear trickled down her face; but somewhere deep down inside her there was a weak feeling of satisfaction that came from knowing she'd done the right thing in letting him go.

--

Howard hammered frantically on the door until it opened.

"Howard!?" gasped Lilly as the man burst past her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Where is he?""I told you all this, on the phone.""No, I mean, where is he? What town? What state?"

"I don't think so, he doesn't want you to find him." Lilly snarled. Howard suddenly snapped, he gripped Lilly's thin shoulders and practically threw her against the wall.

"Oh Howard," she smirked, "I never knew you were this kinky."

"Listen to me!" he snarled, so ferociously her smirk disappeared immediately. "I need to find him. I love him and I have to be with him. Tell me where he is."

"America." He glared at her for a second and then let go of her, letting her fall to the floor.

"Fine." he said, "I'll just search the whole of America if I have too. I'll keep looking until I find him."

"You're crazy." she scowled.

"Maybe." he shrugged, turning to leave but he was stopped at the entrance by the soft call of "Wait."

"What?"

"Are you really trying to find him?"

"Yes.""And you're not going to break his heart again?"

"No."

"What about your wife?"

"We're separating."

"Okay. I don't know where he lives but he's got a job at Central Park Zoo, working with Monkey's and Lizards."

"Thank you." breathed Howard and suddenly, he was running. New York, Central Park Zoo. He leapt into the car to a shout from the old beggar "That's it! Get out of here you BMW driving whoremonger. Vince has gone! Go and find yourself another little rent boy."

He raced down the roads, pushing every speed limit right to the brink. It didn't matter the stakes, there would never be an argument for not being safe. However, when he pulled up at the airport his car became suddenly expendable. He couldn't find a parking space so he just parked it on yellow lines and left it to be clamped.

He reached the information desk, just in time. The woman behind the desk happily informed him that, seeing as he didn't have any luggage, a single seat had just become available on a flight to JFK Airport at 7.30pm. He looked at his watch, that was only half an hour.

"That's fantastic." beamed Howard, throwing his credit card at her. "Put it on that."

"No problem Sir."

And before he knew it he was boarding the plane.

---

**I have tried ('tried' being the operative word) to make the break up as painless as I could for 'little Vince' but I'm not sure if it's come across a little contrived and unbelievable. Opinions please?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Sisi…xx**


	9. Chapter 9

It took ages. Hours and hours. Howard knew that the flight was eight hours long, but even so… this seemed to take forever. He began to curse the fact that concords no longer flew and he cursed the woman who was sat next to him with two children, who didn't seemed capable of shutting up. The final straw came when one of the children managed to throw his coke right over Howard.

"I'm so sorry." gasped his mother. "What do you say to this man?"

"Sorry mister."

Howard gritted his teeth and said, "It's ok." knowing full well that he didn't have any other clothes and now he was going to have to meet Vince covered in cola.

It didn't get any better when he got off the plane. He was stopped at customs and asked to remove his shoes because of bomb threats. After studying them for a ridiculous amount of time they concluded he couldn't have them back, but sent him on his way with a cheesy American style grin plastered across their faces drawling "Have a great holiday Mr Moon."

Howard couldn't even bring himself to force a smile back at them. He just scowled and walked into the cold night air. He couldn't imagine there was a worse place to be in the world than in a cola-drenched suit, in Queen's at five o'clock in the morning, with no shoes and no national currency. All he had was a few euros and he was pretty sure they wouldn't accept them in a New York cab.

Eventually, he found a bank, but of course it didn't open until eight. 'So much for the city that never sleeps' he thought bitterly, sitting on a bench, with nothing but his own thoughts for company, waiting until the bank opened. Then, came the lowest point, of possibly his life, as a young woman walked past and pressed a dollar note into his hand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered kindly, "use it for food."

Howard was taken so much by surprise that he didn't bother to explain the situation, he just took the money gratefully. Anyway, he'd seen a café down the road that was just opening, maybe he could buy a cup of coffee.

--

"And now you're here to find him?" the owner of the café asked.

"Yeah." nodded Howard, he wasn't sure why he'd just spent the last fifteen minutes of his life regailing this woman with his back story, maybe it was because she had a kind face or maybe it was because he had needed to tell someone or maybe, this was the only real way of answering her initial question of 'So, what brings you to the big apple?'

"Well, that's like Romeo and Juliette meets Brokeback Mountain." she smiled.

Howard cocked an eyebrow.

"Where d'you say he was working?" the woman continued.

"Central Park Zoo."

"So you're a long way from home then?"

"Really, how far?"

"Well, Central parks about an hour away in a taxi."

"Right," he sighed. "You don't happen to know what time it opens, do you?"

"Not till 10am, though I'm sure the work staff would be in earlier."

"Hmm. Thanks." Howard said, glancing down at his watch, "well, the bank'll be open by now. Thanks for the coffee."

"No problem, good luck."

--

Everything was taking far too long in Howard's opinion. Changing money took forever. He'd arrived there at 8.05 and there was already a queue longer than he'd ever seen at a bank. Then, the woman behind the desk had been so obsessed by the fact he was English it had taken him over five minutes to tell her what he wanted.

"I just want to exchange some money!" he'd snapped eventually, after the woman had got him to stop for the hundredth time so she could get another one of her endless friends and then demand him to 'say something' as though he were some kind of performing seal.

"Sorry sir." she smiled. "I'll sort that out for you now, bear with me a moment."

Then he'd stood at the side of a pavement, with his thumb out getting totally ignored by every taxi. After an unprecedented amount of time, a yellow taxi pulled over and Howard got it."Central Park Zoo please." he said.

"Right you are."

The traffic, once they hit the centre, was predictably terrible.

"How far away are we?" Howard asked eventually, after they'd been sat in deadlock for ten minutes

"Mmmm, two blocks."

"Right. I'll get out here." Howard decided, throwing a handful of notes at the driver and leaping out of the car.

He walked quickly, ignoring the disgusted looks people were giving him, though to be fair, who could blame them. He was walking through the centre of New York City, with no shoes on and a dried cola stain across his stomach. He was shattered, he hadn't shaved for days, he knew he looked like a tramp. But, he just carried on defiantly. It was a school day so there wasn't much of a queue. The woman sat behind the counter looked like she thought about turning him away but she didn't. And finally, he was in the same place as Vince. Now all he had to do was find the monkey's area. Easier said than done in the vast zoo, with an unfathomable map, but not for great explorer and maverick Howard Moon and he found the cage quicker than he'd expected.

He sat for ages, just watching the animals leap around, screeching happily. It said on their information board that they were due to be fed soon, so he'd just wait until Vince appeared with arms full of banana's. He didn't. Instead, a young woman appeared.

"Excuse me." Howard called. The girl looked up and her pleasant smile was replaced by a look of horror, before she recovered and said,

"How can I help you, sir?"

"Is Vince around?"

"Yes, he's supposed to be feeding this lot but he recons they mess up his hair. Why?"

"Could I see him?"

"Who are you?"

"A… friend."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Umm. Okay. What's your name?"

"Howard."

"Right, I'll get him for you now."

"Thanks."

It was then that Howard caught himself in the reflection of the glass. He really did look like a tramp. His hair was uncombed, he had big black rings under his eyes, his clothes were creased to death. He stank of cola and he had several days of stubble darkening his chin. He couldn't meet Vince like this. What would the younger man think? He turned to leave and was halfway down the path when he heard a voice behind him shout,

"You're not leaving already, are you?"

Howard turned and there was Vince, wearing a uniform, black hair fanning his point features, grinning wildly.

"Course not." Howard whispered, walking towards his love.

"What are you doing here?" Vince asked, "You on holiday?"

"No." smiled Howard, stopping a few yards from the younger man. "I came to give this back." He held up the silver guitar pendant.

"Oh." Vince said, failing to hide his disappointment. "Thanks Howard."

"Yeah."

They both fell quiet, Vince because he was still in shock and Howard because he was too scared to put into words all the feelings that were whipping up a tornado inside him.

Vince suddenly looked around for something, or someone and stammered, "Where's Vince? A-and Maria?"

"I'm on my own"

"Oh, business trip, is it?"

"No, I came looking for you."

"Really?" the younger man breathed. "Why?"

"I've split up with Maria."

"What?" Vince's face suddenly drained of all colour. "No. You weren't supposed to do that. You were supposed to forget about me."

"I could never forget about you."

"You managed it before."

"No, I just didn't know where you were before. Anyway, I was lying to myself. And to you, and to Maria."

"What about Maria? Does she know you're here?"

"Yes, she found out that I love you."

"You what?"

"I love you."

"Really?"

"Yes, you know I do. I wouldn't have travelled ridiculous miles just to see you otherwise and you know I hate flying." Vince nodded quietly, he still wasn't making eye contact with the older man. Instead, he was staring at the bristles on his brush. "I am sorry Vince." Howard whispered.

"For what?" It wasn't asked maliciously, it was genuine question. In Vince's opinion Howard had done nothing wrong and Howard felt even worse because he didn't deserve to be forgiven so easily.

"Everything." he answered honestly. "For leaving in the first place. For marrying Maria. For embarrassing you at the wedding. For dragging you to that dinner party."

"Howard…"

"For kissing you when I was married."

"Howard…"

"For turning you into something you didn't want to be."

"Howard…"

"What?"

"Shut up. You talk way too much." Vince was really close now.

Howard smiled. It was happening again, that magnetic force was wrapping itself around him and dragging him into the older man. Their noses touched, Vince's cheek against Howard's. He pressed his lips lightly to the corner of Howard's mouth.

"Howard." he whispered."Yes, Vince."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with Maria?"

"I'm sure."

"What about little Vince?"

"Everything's sorted."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"So, you're all mine?"

"I'm all yours."

Vince smiled against his cheek and said, "I love you Howard.""Thank God for that, this would have been a pretty wasted journey otherwise." he smiled. Vince nodded and leant up to kiss the man he loved his hands going to Howard's face.

"You travelled miles." grinned Vince cheekily, "but you didn't bother to shave." Howard blushed. "And where are your shoes?"

"Don't ask." Howard said.

"Okay, but you have to tell me later, deal?"

"Deal." agreed Howard, resuming the kiss.

When they finally broke apart Vince grinned and said, "Give me two minutes."

"Where are you going?"

"To quit. Let's go home to Leeds!"

--

"And they took your shoes off you?" Vince asked, laughing like an idiot as he walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the hotel bed removing his own shoes.

"Yes, stop laughing. It's not funny."

"It is. I bet they just took 'em because they were ugly. It had nothing to do with bombs at all. Those shoes look much better."

"Vince. They're red."

"I know. Genius, right?"

"Wrong. I can't believe I let you choose my clothes for me."

"Not that you had any choice." he laughed "That woman wasn't going to let you in the shop even if you paid her a million pounds."

"I know."

"Coz you looked like a tramp."

"I know Vince." a little irritably. "I can't believe that shallow little you took me back, when I looked like that."

"Ah, I'd love you what ever you looked like."

"So if I looked like the elephant man?"

"Yeah, I'd still love you. I might just not tell people about it."

"Cheeky."

Vince laughed again and Howard noticed suddenly he was wearing eyeliner and silver boots and tight black jeans and other manner of ridiculous over the top clothes. He looked like the old Vince again.

"How come you're dressed up like a futuristic prostitute?"

"I'm cool in America." he shrugged, swinging his legs around so he was led next to the older man. "It's funny, isn't it? I stopped trying and people just loved me again. And I worked in a zoo. It was like I'd gone back a few years and started again. Wish we could do that." he sighed, "Stay here and just start again, work in a zoo. Go and see Bolo in the premier of his film next week. Meet up with Naboo, or maybe not actually. The fame's changed him a bit. He's really arrogant now."

"Hmm." frowned Howard, flicking the pages of his TV mag to see an article about Naboo entitled 'Why I'm The Best.'"You know I can't stay here though Vince."

"Yeah, I know. Because you've got a son and responsibilities."

"Yeah."

"It's okay." Vince sighed, cuddling up to Howard and resting his head on his chest, "We'll be alright in Leeds, wont we?"

"Course we will."

"Where we going to live?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't sorted all of that out."

"Maybe we would live in a castle?" Vince smiled dreamily, taking in the feeling of holding a newly shaven, clean and dressed Howard, taking in the smell; sweet and some how tangy, like aniseed.

"Yes Vince." smiled Howard, stroking the smaller man's hair gently, "We're going to live in a castle."

"With a moat?"

"Why not?" smiled the older man, "with crocodile's if you like."

"Genius." He mumbled sleepily. Then, after a long pause he said, "Vince… he won't hate me, will he?"

Howard sat up quickly, "No. God no. He thinks your fantastic!"

"Yeah but that was before I started screwing his dad."

Howard blushed a little, embarrassed by Vince's blunt view of the situation, "I'm sure he wont see it like that."

"But he's going to know I broke up his family."

"He wont think that. No one will think that. If anyone broke up my family it was me. I should never have let it get this far, if I'd just been honest with myself from the beginning none of this would have happened. You were nothing but true to yourself right from the start, Vince."

"That doesn't change anything though, does it?"

"Vince, it'll be okay I promise. When he see's how happy you make me, he'll understand."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Vince. He'll love you, just like I do."

Vince threw his arms around Howard's neck and kissed him chastely before burying his face in Howard's neck and lying in comfortable bliss.


	10. Chapter 10

"She's going to kill me."

"No, she's not."

"She is. She'll see me and then she'll run to the kitchen grab some scissors and stab my eyes out."

They'd been back from America a few days but Howard and Maria still hadn't 'formally' introduced their son to Vince as his daddy's new boyfriend. There had been lots of awkward phone calls between Howard and Maria and they'd eventually decided that they had to give their son the respect he deserved and tell him the truth. Maria had sat him down earlier that morning and explained to him that he was going to meet someone very important in the afternoon and now both Vince's were incredibly nervous.

"You're being ridiculous." laughed Howard, as he took his partner's trembling hand.

"I'm not. If you left me for someone else, I'd stab their eyes out with some scissors."

"You're starting to sound like Old Gregg now." smirked the older man.

"M'just saying." Vince sulked, as Howard rang the doorbell.

"We're just picking Vince up and taking him home, right? So, can't I wait in the car?"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"What if-"

"No!" Howard exclaimed. And; "Hello Maria." as she opened the door.

"Howard." she nodded a little coldly, she glanced a little icily at Vince and then turned to yell up the stairs, "VINCE! DADDY'S HERE."

"I haven't packed my rucksack." was the panicked reply.

"I'll be there now." she sighed.

"No, I want Daddy to help."

Howard gave a sort of half shrug and made his way upstairs, ignoring Vince's garbled whisper of, "Don't leave me, with her. I'm not going to have any eyes when you get back."

"Come in." Maria said stonily.

"Thanks." Vince gave a sort of half smile and followed her into the living room.

"Sit down." she said politely, though every word she said seemed to be causing her pain.

"Thanks." he repeated, perching awkwardly on the edge of the sofa. They sat in silence for a while until Vince said,

"I'm really sorry Maria."

She shrugged a little. She _really_ didn't want to be having this conversation. Despite her better judgement, she still loved the man upstairs and talking to the man who held his heart was torture.

"You know I believe there's someone out there for everyone. I mean if Howard's not right for you then, there must be someone else."

"I doubt it. I loved him."

Vince felt a sharp pang of guilt slice through him and he fell silent for a moment or two.

"I know someone," he announced suddenly, "he's really boring. I think you'd get on really well."

"Thanks a lot." she scowled.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean… look, I've got a new job at the local comp, teaching art and there's this bloke there, John Crook, who teachers geography. He's kinda tall, dark and handsome, loves reading and poetry. He's proper deep and he hates me so you're bound to like him." Maria smiled despite herself. "I'll give him your number."

"Oh, I really don't…" at that point little Vince, came hurtling through the door.

"Mummy, Daddy said that the special person is here. Who is it?" Maria looked at the man in the room and little Vince followed her gaze. "Oh, Hi Mr Noir."

"Hey Vince." he smiled.

"Did Daddy give you your necklace back?"

"Yeah, yeah he did." Vince grinned, his hand going instinctively to the pendant around his neck. "He said you found it for me." The child nodded proudly. "Well, thank you very much. I was really sad when I didn't have it."

"Did Daddy make you happy then?"

"Yeah," laughed Vince feebly, catching the eye of the man in question as entered the room, "Your Daddy makes me very happy."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, son."

"Who's the special person I've got to meet?"

"Well," Howard started, feeling a little nervous and sitting on the sofa next to his partner, "The thing is, you know that me and Mummy don't live together anymore."

The child nodded.

"Well, I live with Vince now."

The child frowned. "But I'm Vince."

"Sorry," smiled Howard. "I live with Mr Noir now, his name is Vince too."

The child nodded again, though he clearly didn't understand and after a while he said,

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why are you going to live with Mr Noir?"

"Because… well, because… I love him."

"But you said you loved him ages ago" Howard and Vince blushed guiltily and a flash of anger appeared behind Maria's eyes as little Vince continued "and you still lived with me and mummy."

"I know but, things have changed a bit now darling." explained Maria bitterly.

"But why can't Mr Noir just move in here?"

"Because… Mummy…" Howard started.

"Because we don't…" Maria faltered.

"Because…" Vince said, speaking for the first time. "I want to play Gary Numan and Jagger really loud and play on the Wii and your mummy said I'm not allowed to put them in your house."

"Awwwww. Mummy." moaned the child.

"No. Sorry Vincent. We're not having loud electro music in this house." Maria said, going along with Vince's lie.

"It's okay though." Vince laughed, "Because you can come to our house and play with me on the Wii, whenever you want and we can play Cars really, really loud until Daddy tells us off."

"Really?" The child's eyes grew wide.

"Yeah."

"You're so cool Mr Noir."

"Hey, you've gotta call me Vince. I'm not your teacher anymore."

"Okay… Vince." he said. Then the child giggled like he'd been really naughty.

And Maria and Howard shared a small glance that said 'I think he'll be okay.'

--

A few months later.

Howard had finally managed to clobber together the money for a deposit on a fairly large flat only a few minutes away from the old house, which they'd agreed Maria could keep. This meant that his son could come over everyday if he wanted and he usually did. Though Howard was beginning to wonder just _who _his son came to see all the time.

Right now, he was ready to kill, he wasn't sure which Vince was winding up the other. But however it had started it had led to 'Cars' playing so loudly the window's were rattling and two people, (one, who should know better and one, who shouldn't) leaping up and down on the sofas screaming the words at the top of their voice's whilst also trying to complete a game of Mario Kart on the Wii.

"**THAT'S IT!**" bellowed Howard, storming into the front room and pulling the plug on the stereo.

"_I feel safest of all I can lock all my_… oh. Howard!" groaned the older Vince. "You ruined it."

"Don't!" hissed Howard angrily.

"Don't be angry at him." little Vince said, lip wobbling dangerously. "Please, don't be angry. You look like Shrek when you're angry."

"Vincent! I'm not in the mood." Howard snapped at his son, who promptly burst into tears.

Vince lifted up his smaller namesake and said, "Jeez Howard, bit of an over reaction there, wasn't it? We were only having fun. Shh, it's okay Vincey, you ignore big, ugly Daddy."

On seeing his son snuggling deeper into Vince's shoulder, Howard realised what a jerk he was being and quickly apologised. He lifted his son from his partner's hands, dried his eyes with his hand and hugged him close to his chest. "I didn't mean it. Ignore me, okay? I'm just being stupid." he said, tapping the child's nose. "I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm sorry." Then he turned to the older Vince and explained "I've just been a bit stressed, trying to finish all the paper work for the D-I-V-O-R-C-E." Causing both Vince's to look suitably confused.

"Why were you angry?" frowned his son.

"I just got annoyed because… I don't like electro." he lied.

"Now, _that_ is a crime." piped up the electro poof. "Daddy's just being boring. We like electro don't we Vince?"

"Yeah!" cried the child enthusiastically, bouncing up and down in his dads arm.

"Hey, me and your dad used to know Gary Numan."

"Really?"

"Yeah, get Daddy to tell you about it tonight instead of a bed time story."

"Genius!" grinned the child, wriggling free from Howard's arms and running upstairs to find something else to play.

"Did he just say 'genius'?" frowned Howard.

"Yup. He's so cool."

"He get's more like you everyday."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing." laughed Howard.

"So, what are you stressed about?" Vince asked seriously.

"Doesn't matter."

"Does. If you're going to start acting like that."

"No… I'm not. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, just…"

"Just, what?"

"Talk to me, yeah? We're in this together now."

"I know. It's just… everything's a bit tough at the moment. I'm paying the mortgage on this and Maria's house. This divorce is going to cost a fortune. Maria's lawyer's pretty smug about the fact that because I was the one who the 'affair' so now, if she wants, she can take me for everything I've got."

"She wouldn't though, would she?"

"I don't think so but… I recon she could be led."

"What's she said about it?"

"She says that she wants to settle outside court and that she's going to be as fair as possible."

"Right, so that's fine then."

"It's not just that though, is it?"

"What then?"

"Well… Maria's friends and family are about ready to kill me."

"They'll get over it eventually."

"And Joe," Vince shivered on the spot at the mention of his ex. "he's told me if he ever sets eyes on me again he'll knock me out."

"He wouldn't. He couldn't hurt a fly. I mean, literally. I recon in a fight the fly would win."

Howard laughed, really laughed. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't really funny but Vince's face it had screwed up adorably when he'd said it. "Come here." he chuckled, pulling the smaller man towards him and holding him tightly in his strong arms before sitting down on the sofa and pulling Vince with him. "You know, he asked if we were gay the other night."

"Who did?"

"Vince."

"Really?" laughed Vince. "What did you say?"

"Asked him where he'd heard it."

"And?"

"One of the older kids in school had heard that Mr Noir was gay. He didn't even know what it meant. I just said that we loved each other and we made each other happy and then, he asked if you loved him."

"I hope you told him I did."

"I did and he said that was good because he loves his Daddy Vince."

Vince beamed with pride. "Told you he was cool, must be something in the name." he grinned.

"Mmm." Howard smiled, stroking Vince's hair fondly.

"How're things with Maria and John?" The younger man asked suddenly.

"Yeah, they're getting on really, really well apparently."

"Good. I did ask John but he looked at me like I'd asked him to spare me a kidney. But, I knew they would. They're both so… boring. No offence."

"None taken. Vince isn't overly happy though."

"What? Why not?"

"Apparently, he told Maria he can cope with two daddy's but he doesn't want three."

Vince laughed, a genuine infectious laugh, which in seconds had Howard laughing too.

"I think he's coming round to the idea slowly though." the older man laughed. "Though John wasn't too impressed when Vince's first question was 'Do you like Gary Numan?'"

Vince laughed again. "I love your son so much."

"Well, you're his flaming hero! It's his class assembly next week, on Tuesday. You'd better be there."

"Okay."

"I mean it Vince."

"I'll be there. I wont let him down. I love him, I love you."

"I love you too." Howard smiled. Leaning down to kiss his lover.

Then they were disturbed by a shout of "URGH!!" the two men broke apart and looked at the child, who was wearing such a look of disgust that the two men just burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Howard.

"Mummy and John do that too, it's disgusting."

"Ahh, one day it won't be so disgusting." grinned Vince.

"It will. I don't wanna catch cooties!"

"What d'you want?" laughed the electro-Goth.

"I wanna play Bouncing Tigger."

"What's that?"

"It's like Buckaroo, but with Tigger from Winnie the Pooh." explained Howard

"Wow, genius."

"I can't get it down off the shelf." moaned the child. "It's too high."

"I'll do it. Howard you clear the floor. It's so untidy. You really should keep this place tidier. There's games cases and sweet boxes all over the place."

"Yeah, from you two, earlier."

"You love us really."

"Can I go on your shoulder's Vince?"

"Ummm, no, you'll ruin my hair but I'll carry you like a fireman if you like."

And just like that, they disappeared up the stairs to find the game and Howard, a little reluctantly, tidied a space on the floor. He smiled when his Vince's returned tipping the game into the middle of the cleared space. Little Vince set about setting up the game and the electro-poof sat on the floor and snuggled up to his partner, who put his arm round him rubbing his shoulder lovingly. He was pretty sure life couldn't get better. He was living a life he'd only ever dreamed of before. His son had coped with all the change and upset remarkably well. And most importantly, he had Vince back in his arms. He was in love, he was complete again after years and years of emptiness; his heart had been fixed and it would never be broken again.

* * *

**END!**

**Haha! Hope you all enjoyed reading this. Writing it has been _SO_ much fun and all of your reviews have been wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Love ya all!  
Sisi...xx**


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